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New York Divorce Blog

Blog 2014 December Holiday Co-Parenting Tips!
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Holiday Co-Parenting Tips!

Posted By Lois Brenner || 16-Dec-2014

The greatest wish of many children of divorce during the holidays is that Mom and Dad will get back together. Even though the sad truth is that this is probably not going to happen, you as responsible parents can cooperate, and make the holidays as happy as possible for your child. Children tend to worry about the parent they won’t be with during the holidays. They often have conflicting feelings of sadness, anger and guilt. They are not sure how to act or who to please.

Here are five helpful co-parenting tips on how to help your child through the holidays:

TIP ONE:
Always Make Your Child a Priority!
No matter how old the child, consider their feelings and what they want as well as what is arranged. Let them feel as though they are part of this decision-making process. Keep your children out of parenting disputes!

TIP TWO:
Consider your Child’s Feelings!
Remember many children of divorced families will have conflicted feelings during the holidays.
Help them so they don’t default to feeling responsible for the divorce. Encourage them to have a good time with the other parent. Don’t bad talk the other parent. It is the worst thing you can do at any time in a divorce situation, but particularly so during the holidays. Help them get ready for their holiday visit with the other parent. When they come home, be interested in what they did and ask questions about the time spent with the other parent. This behavior will help your child feel less anxious and hopefully, happier.

TIP THREE:
Plan well in advance.
Discuss and share information with the other parent. Make plans with the other parent. Make some of those plans to all be together for part of the holiday season, if possible. Try to coordinate gifts with your ex so your child receives a normal amount of presents and no duplicates. Conveying a strong united front helps a child feel secure and more loved especially during the holidays. Remember, you divorced your spouse, not your child. A strong co-parenting relationship is the best gift you can give your child this holiday season!

TIP FOUR:
Be flexible.
Good co-parenting requires compromise to be successful. Sometimes planning holidays around visitation schedules can be chaotic. But if this is not possible, Compromise! Compromise! Compromise! You will be helping your child.

TIP FIVE:
Make the Most of It!
This means take the necessary steps to ensure your child has a wonderful holiday while keeping your sanity at the same time!

More Divorce Articles From Lois:

  1. Tips For Surviving The Holidays After Divorce If this is your first holiday as a single woman or man after a divorce, the holidays can be painful and stressful. It’s a difficult...
  2. How Do We Share The Children For Christmas? I received this email recently and thought the answer would help many of you who read my blog. My husband and I are recently separated...
  3. PARENTING CLASSES FOR DIVORCE It is my goal as a divorce attorney and mediator to introduce my clients to all the tools necessary to see them through the difficult...
  4. 5 Tips on How to Treat Minor Children While Going Through a Divorce “There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children” ~ Nelson Mandela With the holidays and...
Categories: Child Support

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Lois M. Brenner, Esq.

Lois M. Brenner, Esq. New York Divorce Attorney 12 East 86th St,
Suite 1230,
New York, NY 10028

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