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Divorce Mediation



What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word “divorce?”

“Fight!” Hire a Lawyer.”

This is the way it’s been ever since the founding of our country when we

imported the British legal model for divorce – the adversarial system. Now that one in

every two marriages in this country ends in divorce, the devastation caused by the system

has come under question. Is there a better way?

Yes. It’s called “Mediation.” New on the radar for the last few years, it is now

becoming more widely known. It was previously employed in labor negotiations, but its

use has been expanding to include family law problems.

Here’s how it works: The divorcing couple hires one individual, instead of two

opposing lawyers, to help them resolve their differences. The mediator is an

independent, unbiased individual, trained in mediation (usually a lawyer or a mental

health professional), whose job is to facilitate an agreement on all issues between the

husband and wife. The results are astonishing and are achieved often in hours and

weeks, instead of months and year. The central truth about divorce today is that it is not

just a legal experience, it is also a psychological experience. In the traditional system

Divorce is a conflict-based, lengthy, and costly process which completely ignores the

important psychological dynamics and behavior of the couple.

As you know abusive relationships are very much in the news today. Many marriages end because one party is abusive, and often the victim is not even aware of the abuse. The old system of divorce encourages people to hurt each other and to fight when it is not absolutely necessary. It is possible for couples to change their automatic behavior and achieve an entirely different outcome.

I developed my unique divorce mediation method during my 35+ years of experience and practice as a divorce attorney, psychologically - trained medical professional, and court-appointed mediator. My divorce mediation method involves behavior modifications, the use of psychology - identifying personality and character traits, emotions, family dynamics, and applying the law to develop strategies for a more positive experience. This method is less adversarial, less expensive, and less time-consuming than the traditional system. It keeps couples out of court and away from lawyers. Unlike the standard approach, this method takes into consideration the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that affect divorcing couples, and which, if properly identified, can be used to leverage a more successful and calmer outcome.

Unlike the approach of other divorce attorneys my divorce mediation method addresses the pervasive presence of verbal abuse in its many destructive forms:

  • Criticizing
  • Hiding finances
  • Blaming
  • Controlling
  • Threatening
  • Denial
  • Insulting
  • Withholding
  • Ignoring
  • Gas lighting
  • Separating from friends and family Verbal abuse disguised as jokes.

My divorce mediation method does not approach Divorce just based on the law, it’s based on psychology too! You get to choose how you want to end your marriage. You can litigate, negotiate or mediate. How you navigate the process depends not only on the law of your state but largely upon the psychological dynamics of your relationship; the emotions, thoughts, personality traits and behavior of the individuals.

The personality and behavior of both you and your spouse make a difference—a big difference—in the nature and outcome of your divorce.

Let me help you avoid the traditional horror stories of divorce!

I will work for and with both of you to help you reach a settlement that permits you to

concentrate on the future and the potential it holds. There is a typical process we will use

to reach a settlement; however, your individual needs may cause us to depart from a strict

adherence to it.

During the process we will:

  • Develop current and future income information;
  • Develop budgets;
  • Inventory marriage assets (property);
  • Begin to define each of your short – and long-term goals;
  • Define general areas of agreement;
  • Identify substantive areas of disagreement;
  • Identify symbolic and emotional issues;
  • Work through the parenting arrangements;
  • Negotiate money differences.

If you want to try a highly successful, less expensive, compassionate approach to your divorce call me! I will help you navigate your divorce using the law and psychology to achieve a productive, fair, amicable agreement and a happier future!

Call New York Divorce Attorney and Mediator Lois Brenner today to schedule your Divorce Mediation Session! 212.734.1551

    “Remarkable lawyer and lady!”
    Lois Brenner is a remarkable attorney and compassionate advocate for dads. She guided me when I was confused and didn't know what to do to get shared custody of my daughter. She encouraged me to stay strong and to fight, and she negotiated a much better custody arrangement than my previous lawyer. What great attorney. Thank you Ms. Brenner
    - Christoff
    “Lois Brenner is a Warrior for men”
    When I first decided to hire a divorce attorney, I thought a male attorney would be best. Lois Brenner really surprised me. Although she has written a divorce book on women’s rights, she is totally an advocate for men as well. She really understood how much I loved my kids, and listened and understood all the horrible things my wife was doing to destroy their relationship with me. She didn’t miss a beat and really went to bat for me. She reached out to my wife’s attorney every time my wife made any attempt to disrupt my visiting our kids and always demanded the best results. She made herself available, even when she was on vacation! Lois has been there every step of the way in these difficult circumstances. I highly recommend her.
    - Sam
    “The most understanding and accommodating Firm”
    Dealing with this firm was a gift from above. They were very understanding and made the whole process painless. They are open after regular work hours which was super convenient for a working professional. As a Surgeon in NYC going through this process the firm was very accommodating to my changing schedule. I am forever grateful that the firm was able to find a great solution to all issues so that everyone was taken into account and came to a responsible agreement. Thank you Lois Brenner you are the best!
    - Jose Loor
    “Clever & Compassionate Attorney”
    I met with Lois Brenner nine months ago, and my life has been changed for the better! She and her legal team really encouraged me to leave a very abusive husband. They gave me the knowledge and courage to take the necessary legal steps. My parents were helping me and found Lois to be smart, and compassionate. My whole family felt really comfortable having her handle my case. I am finally divorced, away from an abusive man and ready to start a new life. I can’t thank Lois and her legal team enough for all the support I received. I got a much better settlement than I expected because they were relentless in locating money my husband had hidden. Thank you so much!
    - Kim B.
    “"High Net Worth Professionals"”
    I am a highly successful money manager and before meeting Lois Brenner, hiring a divorce attorney was a disaster. Two previous divorce attorneys really wasted my funds, and had no savvy when it came to asset and property distribution. Lois Brenner finally fixed the mess I was in. She and her team of financial experts, including attorney Matthew Ehrlich were able to prepare an asset and property distribution that was realistic, keeping in mind tax ramifications, and important distributions and allocations. They negotiated a thorough and financially sound divorce settlement. If you have a lot of assets, just any divorce attorney won’t do. You really need someone with a lot of knowledge. Lois Brenner and Matthew Ehrlich were really impressive. Thanks!!
    - Michael C.
    “"Finally a parenting agreement we can live with" :)”
    Thank you Ms. Brenner! It was a rough summer trying to get our parenting agreement together.but you really helped. My ex-husband and I fought all summer about what the children's schedule would be once school started. Your endless guidance and productive sessions with us made all the difference. You straightened us out with your sound, caring advice. We both feel better now. Our kids feel better too. Thank you, thank you. We hope you had a great summer. We will recommend you highly to anyone needing a family law attorney.
    - Brenda
    “You are truly the best divorce attorney in New York!”
    “You are truly the best divorce attorney in New York!”
    - Christine
    “I am grateful to Ms. Brenner for helping me get out of a sticky stressful situation.”
    I had a complicated situation wherein I had to get a divorce through publication as my husband and I had not been in contact for 5 years and I was out of the US for a few years. (it was an abusive marriage) I reside in Buffalo and I spoke with several attorneys locally but I did not feel that any of the local attorneys were able able to understand my situation. Some suggested that I locate my husband, and each one of them wanted to start by identifying and listing the assets. Unsatisfied, I started looking for attorneys in NY city, and I found Ms. Brenner through Avvo. During the consultation, she was extremely kind and understanding and agreed to take on my case. Ms. Brenner helped me get a divorce through publication and she/her team took care of everything. All I had to do was provide her with documentation. I am grateful to Ms. Brenner for helping me get out of a sticky stressful situation. I would definitely recommend her to anybody in a similar situation. Thank you, Ms. Brenner.

Contact Lois M. Brenner, Esq. Today!

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