Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their separation this week and
described it as a “conscious uncoupling” over at Goop, Gwyneth’s
personal website. Their statement read they had “come to the conclusion
that while we love each other very much, we will remain separate”
and “we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will
be able to continue in the same manner.”
Many people hearing the news have been asking the question what exactly
is conscious uncoupling?
Although “uncoupling” may sound like a modern term, it was
actually listed in the 1942 edition of the Oxford English Dictionary as
a term to describe the end of a relationship.
As a divorce lawyer, looking at the way that Gwyneth and Chris are handing
the public face of their break up, it suggests to me that behind the scenes,
they may well be using “mediation” as a positive way forward
to divorce.
Divorce mediation is one of the three routes my own clients choose from
when they are contemplating a divorce. It’s non-adversarial and
is an excellent alternative to divorce court, particularly as it helps
couples to build a positive relationship moving forwards with their “uncoupling.”
With divorce mediation, the settlement process can begin immediately.
Being trained in both Law and Psychiatry, I am uniquely qualified and have
created an effective psychologically-based mediation service which helps
couples create their own solutions for managing finances, support, visitation,
custody and tax issues. We meet together in a supportive setting and my
role in the process is to be an unbiased mediator, not an adversarial
divorce attorney, so you and your partner are able to make agreements
quickly and compassionately.
I make sure there are no losers and even couples who are very angry can
express their wants to me as I’m specifically trained to manage
any conflict and the mediation process works, even turning conflict from
destructive to productive.
For those with children, like Gwyneth and Chris, mediation can ease decision
making around contentious areas such as property issues, alimony, child
support, moving out, protecting your children, your family, and developing
a budget that will work for you. These are typically areas where my clients
value the support I can give them, without value judgements.
At the end of the mediation process, a written separation agreement is
then drafted for you and divorce documents are filed with the court. You
will receive your final Judgment of Divorce after it is signed by a judge.
If you are looking for an alternative to divorce court, then consider divorce
mediation. I will help you and your spouse “uncouple” with
grace and empower you both to move on with your lives.