Lois M. Brenner, Esq.

During this financially challenging time, don't delay your divorce.
We are offering
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS!

Free Phone Consultation!

Call Now to Speak with Lois Brenner

646.663.4546
  • Home
  • Meet Lois Brenner
  • Divorce
  • Divorce Mediation
  • Psychology of Divorce
  • Testimonials
  • Blog
  • Contact Us
  • Call Today
  • Email Us
  • Our Map
  • Menu
    Home
    Meet Lois Brenner
    Divorce
    Divorce Mediation
    Psychology of Divorce
    Testimonials
    Case Studies
    FAQ
    Blog
    Case Evaluation
    Contact Us
    Site Map
  • Asset Allocation
  • Business Partnerships
  • Child Custody
  • Child Support
  • Contested Divorce
  • Divorce Litigation
  • Domestic Partnerships
  • Divorce Process
  • Domestic Violence & Abuse
  • Equitable Distribution
  • Estate Planning & Divorce
  • Family Law
  • Fathers' Rights
  • Grandparents' Rights
  • Health Insurance
  • High Net Worth Divorce
  • Life Insurance
  • Matrimonial Law
  • Military Divorce
  • Pensions
  • Prenuptial Agreements
  • Postnuptial Agreements
  • Separation Agreements
  • Taxes
  • Uncontested Divorce
  • Visitation
  • Women's Rights
man and child

New York Divorce Blog

Blog 2015 May Negotiating to Get What You Deserve: Part 3
Previous Post  |  Next Post

Negotiating to Get What You Deserve: Part 3

Posted By Lois Brenner || 15-May-2015

How active should you be in the negotiations? That will depend largely on the state of your emotions. The basic fact is that you are the principal – your lawyer is there to advise you and represent you, but what is being decided is your financial future. In my experience, clients can range from almost totally passive (“I don’t understand all this – you do what you think is best”) to excessively controlling (“I want to know about every letter and phone call beforehand”).

In many matrimonial cases there are a limited number of assets – equity in a house, savings, a pension. After the current value of the house and pension have been set by expert appraisers, the dollar amount of the property to be divided is often fairly clear. The issues come down to the method of division: Does the wife keep the house and enough of the savings to offset the value of the pension and the remainder of the savings? Does the wife get in a lump sum now her share of the pension and savings as well as half-ownership of the house, which is to be sold and divided when the last child goes off to college? Who gets the liquid assets – the savings – which will generate income to live on? . . . .

Before your lawyer makes a proposal, you should discuss your priorities thoroughly and decide what you will insist on having and what you would be willing to compromise or even give up. Of course, you will have more leverage in negotiating if you have not revealed or even hinted at these priorities to your husband and if you can infer from his past behavior what his priorities.

Your proposal can then be structured to give you the maximum possible amount you can get in the form that best suits your needs. Ideally, this first proposal will stretch the upper limit of what you might get after a trial – without going too far above it. If your husband’s lawyer is skillful, his first offer will be at the lower end of the same scale. Between them, the two proposals will have defined the area for bargaining.

The threat of a trial is the matrimonial lawyer’s ultimate weapon and, like any heavy artillery, it should be used carefully or it may backfire. In the course of negotiating, each lawyer will be rehearsing or hinting at the arguments that might sway a judge, and trying to undermine the other lawyer’s confidence in the persuasiveness of the opposing arguments. These skirmishes can lead to an agreement if both sides are willing to make concessions in order to avoid the expense and uncertainty of a trial. But if one side or the other refuses to budge, a trial may be the only alternative..

Some cases are solved at a pretrial conference, but you and your lawyer may need time to consider the judge’s guidance as may your husband and his lawyer. With disagreements narrowed, and a sense of what the judge may do, both sides often sit down soon afterward and negotiate the remaining issues.

But it is important to remember that at a pretrial conference, the judge is only acting as a mediator and adviser, trying to move your case toward a settlement (and incidentally to unclog the crowded court calendar). No judge can issue a binding order until the parties agree or until all the evidence and arguments have been heard in a trial.

If you have any other questions about negotiating your divorce settlement, contact us.

* Brenner, Lois and Robert Stein. “Negotiating to Get What You Deserve” Getting Your Share: A Woman’s Guide to Successful Divorce Strategies. San Jose: Authors Choice Press, 1989. 80-98. Print.

Categories: Divorce

Share Post

Rely on Lois Brenner

Call us at 646.663.4546 to talk with Lois Brenner and obtain the legal counsel you need.

Send Us Your Case Now
  • “You are truly the best divorce attorney in New York!”

    - Christine

  • map pin
  • “Thank you for doing such a tremendous job!”

    - Bill

  • map pin
  • “Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!”

    - Sara and Jeff

  • map pin
  • “I didn’t expect to find a divorce attorney as amazing as you!”

    - Deborah

  • map pin
  • “Keep up the good work!”

    - Jonathan

  • map pin
  • “First, you were so easy to talk to and second, you really know what you are doing!”

    - Sharon

  • map pin
Read All Reviews
  • facebook
  • twitter
  • google-plus
  • linkedin-2

Lois M. Brenner, Esq.

Lois M. Brenner, Esq. New York Divorce Attorney 12 East 86th St,
Suite 1230,
New York, NY 10028

View Map

(646) 663-4546


divorcelawyerny.com
  • Home
  • Site Map
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us
Internet Marketing Experts