As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney I can often spot the signs
of an unhealthy relationship even before my clients do. My advice in some
cases is to seek therapy, in others I strongly suggest they consider divorce.
If you see yourself experiencing some of these warning signs, you need
to know there is a way out. I hope this information will help you and
give you courage to take the first step!
Warning Signs Are:
- You don’t get to be yourself.
If you are constantly apologizing for who you are, you are not with the
right person. Constant criticism of another person wears on the fabric
of their self-esteem. Healthy partnership is about building each other
up, not breaking each other down.
- Control.
If your partner tries to control everything you do, where you go, how you
spend money, who your friends are, monitoring your emails, trolling your
social media, this is not love. This is control. Take notice!
- Lies.
If you cannot rely on the truth from your partner, you have a real problem.
This might seem somewhat obvious, but it isn’t always. Liars are
not to be trusted. You are not in a safe and balanced relationship when
your partner is wearing a veil of deceit. You could get hurt.
- Your family and friends don’t like your partner.
If your loved ones don’t like your partner, start listening! If friends
and family start to distance themselves because of how uncomfortable they
feel around your partner, you are about to become isolated. This isolation
lends to your partner having more control. This has all the earmarks of
abuse. Pay attention!
- You feel better when your partner is not around.
In a healthy relationship we enjoy the company of our partner. We can’t
wait to spend time with them. If you feel better when your partner is
at work, or away on business, it’s really time to consider getting
out of this very unhealthy relationship.
If you need help taking that first step, call me at 212.734.1551. I will
skillfully take you through a process that will make you feel safe and
confident. Having an attorney/mediator/advocate can help you move out
of a marriage that is not serving you well.