Even though we are busy battling the coronavirus, I recently received an
emergency call from a man who had just discovered his wife was having
He had gone to his wife’s phone to check for the time for a teleconference
with his son's teacher and stumbled upon a barrage of inappropriate
sexual texts from one of his wife’s co-workers.
He was distraught, angry, and called me. A friend had read my book and
given him my information. He asked me about getting a divorce, but he
was extremely conflicted, and very emotional.
He still loved his wife and wanted to keep his family together. He was
having a very hard time processing everything, especially with all the
stress of the current health crisis going on. He was sobbing at one point,
and almost inconsolable. It made me very sad to see his pain.
This unthinkable revelation caught him completely by surprise. He told
me there had been no warnings. Once we got his emotions under control
we discussed the divorce laws in New York, and how they applied to his
multi-generational family business, property, assets, spousal and child
support. I explained the likely outcome of a divorce in his circumstances,
and what that would look like.
We further discussed all his options: do nothing right now, try couples
counseling and therapy, consider a separation or get a divorce. None of
these felt right to him.
Then I mentioned the possibility of preparing a postnuptial agreement for
him. This would allow him to remain married at least for the time being.
It would provide him the opportunity to plan for a divorce in the future,
while securing a good potential settlement while continuing to be married,
if he and his wife continued to do so.
He was surprised and pleased that he had this option, which had not occurred
to him. This is a tool I suggest and use for many couples who find themselves
in this unfortunate position.
A postnuptial agreement prevents couples from making a hasty decision before
they have had time to consider their options. It provides peace of mind
and time for emotions to calm so important life decisions can be made.
A postnuptial agreement, in the case of this client, will provide him with
financial protection if a divorce does occur. In addition, we will build
into his agreement, per his request, consequences, if future infidelity
does occur in his marriage.
No two postnuptial agreements are alike. Postnuptial agreements are tailored
to meet the individual needs of every couple.