It is not unusual for a spouse to hear with no warning from the other that
they want a divorce.
There can be a lot of factors influencing a partner to come to this decision;
another woman or man, a midlife crisis, psychological issues and sometimes
financial difficulties.
Struggling relationships often end in divorce because the couple has stopped
trying, and drifted apart. Feelings are ignored and more often than not,
one spouse wants to stay, while the other spouse wants to go. They have
become disconnected emotionally and physically.
Most people who are contemplating divorce struggle with the question of
whether or not divorce is the right decision.
I tell couples during my divorce mediation process to talk about divorce
in detail before ending their marriage.
When a spouse decides to end a marriage they have often made this decision
in response to their needs not being met, a breakdown in communication,
or simply not wanting to be married any longer.
Once you have the “divorce conversation”, it’s very important
to get the proper guidance and professionals to support you.
My role as a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator is to
be supportive in a sad and difficult transition. I can pave the path to
productive discussions amidst a flurry of very high emotions. I can help
you find your “voice of reason” so that decisions are made
in your best interest.
Here are 7 Tips to Get You on the Right Path to Your Divorce:
- Speak with a divorce attorney/mediator. Find out what you’re rights
are, and what you are entitled to;
- Consider mediation - mediation is less stressful, not adversarial, more
manageable, amicable, cost effective and less time consuming;
- Don’t rehash the past or obsess about having to know “why”.
Divorce is about moving forward with knowledge and dignity. Knowing “why”
will not make the process any easier;
- Acknowledge your emotions! They will range from tears, to anger, to wanting
revenge. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt!;
- Don’t try to hold on to someone who wants out. You don’t need
to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t want to
be with you. You deserve much better!;
- Start pulling together the important information you will need: tax documents,
investment statements, W-2’s, property titles, life insurance policies,
pension plans – take a look at your expenses and start developing a budget.
-
BREATHE! This is going to be a challenging process. Reach out to family and friends
for support. Consider seeing a therapist, and don’t be afraid to
ask for help.
I would be happy to sit down with you and your spouse to explain the magic
of mediation.Mediation is a family and financially friendly approach to
divorce.Divorce doesn’t have to be so painful or divisive.
Having successfully served NYC for over 35 years as an experienced divorce
attorney and medically-trained mediator, I can tell you a divorce with
dignity is possible.My process is magic. Call me to schedule an appointment
212.734.1551.
Warm wishes,
Lois