Are you wondering how you are going to survive financially if divorce comes
knocking at your door?
I received a phone call over the weekend from a devastated spouse who said,
“I can’t believe it, I have been married, I thought happily
for 12 years, and today my spouse said, “I want a divorce. I’m
not happy and I have found someone else. My whole life just flashed before
my eyes. I didn’t see this coming and I don’t know what to
do.” The main concern was that he had stayed home to raise 3 children,
had supported the efforts of his spouse who had achieved great success
in the entertainment business, and now feared what lay ahead for himself
and the children financially.
These days there are still some spouses who give up careers to stay at
home to raise the children. They often spend most of their marriage helping
to support, and in some cases to build, their spouses’ careers/businesses
in the best interest of the family.
But, if at some point you or your spouse want out of the marriage will
you be prepared? Will you be able to survive financially?
The answer is Yes! But I strongly suggest you always keep your finger on
the financial pulse of your marriage and family. Don’t be in the
dark. Don’t leave all the financial decisions to your spouse. Insist
on being a partner in all the financial decisions and know where all the
money is invested. Look at all bills, statements, payments etc. Don’t
forget about yourself along the way, keep your skills sharp and don’t
forget to stay present in your marriage. And save some money yourself!
Here are my 6 Divorce Tips for Stay-at-Home Spouses:
1. Make a plan before you move forward with a divorce. Sometimes you won’t
have that luxury especially if your spouse walks through the door and
says, “I want a divorce.” So be prepared. Review your skills,
finances and evaluate your ability to support yourself financially;
2. If you find yourself falling behind on taking care of yourself and your
skills you may want to take some courses or become certified in a particular
3. If you have skills and can return to work, update your resume and explore
what opportunities exist. Start networking with friends already in the
4. If you don’t have some separate assets consider having a separate
bank account, set one up and start saving some money. You will need money
for a retainer for an attorney or mediator if divorce does rear its ugly head;
5. Review all your expenses. Make a budget. What are you spending now? What
will you be able to spend after the divorce for your own household? Know
how much you will need to survive. Start implementing changes to cut back
on expenses and put some money in a savings account for yourself.
6. Visualize the Life You Want! Life will change after divorce. Some things
will be better, others more challenging. Think about where you want to
live, what type of career you will embark on, and how you will be prepared
financially to handle all of these changes.
It’s important to remember, child support and spousal support (if
you are entitled to them) do not last forever. The sooner you can stand
on your own two feet, the better you will feel.
I want you to feel encouraged and empowered by “being prepared”
if divorce should occur in your marriage.
If you are thinking about divorce or your spouse has just told you they
want a divorce, call me, I will help you prepare emotionally and financially
for the next steps.
As a divorce attorney and medically-trained mediator I have been successfully
guiding divorcing families using compassion, keen legal strategy and unique
psychological insight for over 35 years.
Call my office and take advantage of a free consultation today!
I am just a phone call away. 212.734.1551