As a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator, I hear from spouses all the time about their depression and anxiety. The pain, turmoil, and chaos of divorce can be terrifying to some.
Unfortunately, depression and anxiety are not unusual during a divorce. I encourage those divorcing to breathe and not be too hard on themselves. Divorce is an emotional roller coaster. You will need emotional strength to ride the ups and downs. The best way to handle this is with “self-care.” Do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better and worthy of a better life.
You can learn to manage these turbulent feelings, and eventually they will go away. Divorce is similar to death. It requires understanding, and management of the stages of grief, anger, and for some, denial.
Depression and anxiety during divorce are inevitable – but not endless. You can learn to manage these feelings, and they will eventually dissipate.
Don’t let divorce depression cloud what you need to do. If it’s time to divorce or you are already in the midst of divorce, there are things you can do to reduce the depression and anxiety. Find comfort in knowing you are not alone, and give yourself whatever support is necessary so you can thrive!
Here are my best tips for managing depression and anxiety during your divorce:
Take Baby Steps:
Get up and move! Find motivation. Do you want out of an abusive relationship? Do you want a better life for your children? If so, use this as your motivation to fight and overcome the paralyzing effects of depression and start working towards getting your divorce. Start looking online at attorneys and mediators, read reviews, call for consultations, join an online support group. Devote just an hour per day to getting prepared. You will feel better once you are being productive. Give it a try!
Keep Moving:
Once you have started to move, keep going. Build on the momentum. Start to narrow down the attorney/mediators you have consulted. Make a list of the pros and cons of all. Think about your next steps. If you are still feeling a heavy weight and are having trouble getting to the next divorce step consider working with a therapist or psychologist. Some people will benefit from mediation.
When I meet with spouses and I see and hear they are in emotional pain, I often recommend therapy and give referrals from my team of experts. Having a strong support team during a divorce is powerful and productive. Don’t be afraid to take advantage of every tool in your arsenal to support yourself! The best way to tackle depression and anxiety is to keep moving! Even small efforts will help balance your mood.
See the Light at the End of the Tunnel:
Yes, there is light. You will get through your divorce, you will start over, and you will be happy again. Think it and believe it. It seems way off in the distance, and it is. But, you are on the path, the road to ending a horrible marriage, finding your independence again, hearing your own voice, and making a new life for yourself and your family. Stay focused and productive. Take one important step every day towards making your divorce happen.
Depression and anxiety are common byproducts of divorce. After all, everything familiar in your life is changing. You are headed into the unknown. It’s really scary! But if you surround yourself with the best professionals, family, and friends, you will make it through. I see good outcomes all the time.
Spouses who thought they wouldn’t make it, are now on the other side of divorce, adjusting and finding a new and better way to live. You can too!
I know you’re afraid, but you don’t have to be. Divorce is a journey that you don’t have to take alone. It is also a process that can be fair, productive, and successful. Let me guide you to the divorce path that is comforting, supportive, and peaceful. I’m a phone call away with lots of good advice, and I am a great listener!
During the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic all our FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to hearing from you, and to helping you to find the best possible painless divorce solution!
Stay healthy and safe!
Warm regards,
Lois
New York divorce attorney Lois Brenner still has some appointments available this week.
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