As a psychologically trained divorce attorney and mediator, I have worked
with a few men in the last six months who all found themselves in very
emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive, relationships with
The abuse was heightened while couples were quarantining due to the coronavirus.
These men all felt ashamed but found strength and reached out for consultations
and took control of their lives.
For a man, recognizing he is being abused is often difficult and emotionally
distressing. In some cases, he doesn’t even realize he is being
abused. For a man, there can be shame and embarrassment attached to admitting
they are being abused by their wife.
As a psychologically trained medical professional and divorce attorney,
I am uniquely qualified to work with men and women in abusive relationships.
First, I provide a safe and supportive environment for them to express
their feelings and give them a platform to be heard, respected, and understood.
In addition, for those that might not recognize they are in an abusive
relationship, I can help them realize they are being abused, and provide
support and suggestions on how to productively and safely engage with
their spouse or not.
By the time a man consults with me he is already considering separation,
possibly divorce, but often feels embarrassed and really conflicted.
For those who want to invite their wives to participate in a dialogue to
discuss the marital issues, we schedule a conference call so I can help
them as a couple navigate a rational, hopefully civil and informed discussion.
My psychological/legal approach to divorce mediation includes:
- Listening to both parties;
- Acknowledging what they both need and want;
- Encouraging them to speak to each other in productive ways;
- Discouraging talking about the past;
- Identifying the abusive behavior and addressing the “elephant in
the room” with both;
- Providing a safe and supportive environment for productive discussions
- Helping them address and make decisions together on all the important legal
issues like: child custody, spousal support, visitation, asset allocation
and property division, just to name a few.
- Guiding them towards the best solutions for their marital problems, whether
it be therapy for possible reconciliation, mediation to dissolve the marriage
in a peaceful manner, or in some cases litigation because the anger runs
too deep and communication is impossible.
Some of you may be asking - “What does abuse look like?” Here
are a few clues:
- Constantly putting you down;
- Humiliating or embarrassing you in front of others;
- Refusing to communicate;
- Using sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice;
- Using children or money for control;
- Withdrawal of affection;
- Guilt trips;
- Making everything your fault;
- Isolating you from friends and family;
- Extramarital affairs.
If you find yourself hurt and confused by the behaviors of your spouse
and are thinking of separation or divorce, call me.
I can help you identify if you are in an abusive relationship, and I will
help you successfully navigate a peaceful and safe path to divorce.
During the ongoing COVID-19 Pandemic all our
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are
conveniently conducted virtually by telephone to reduce risk and maintain safety!
Continue to Stay Healthy & Safe!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer, Lois Brenner now to book your free consultation.