As a divorce attorney and psychologically trained mediator, I hear all
kinds of diverse divorce stories. I have decided to share some of these
stories monthly with you.
Naturally, I will change the names and some of the details to protect my
clients. The purpose of sharing these divorce stories with you is to let
you know, you are not alone. There are peaceful, rational solutions available to you.
You really can have a happily-ever-after.
Rebecca and Josh were married for 9 years. They had two beautiful daughters,
ages 5 and 7. They were both professionals. She was an art director, and
he was a dentist. They lived in a large home in Oyster Bay.
When I received a phone call from Rebecca, she was calling from her therapist’s
office. She was being encouraged by her therapist to move forward with
her divorce and her therapist suggested she call me right away.
During our phone consultation the next day, she told me that her husband
was very abusive and having an affair with one of his patients. I wasn’t
sure if she was angry about the affair, or just done with all the abuse.
She was very upset and wanted a divorce a.s.a.p. The abuse had been going
on for a long time. It was mostly verbal abuse but there had been a few
physical incidents early on in their marriage as well.
Rachel explained she had supported her husband in building his dental practice
and had put her career on hold to do so. She had only been working back
in her field as an art director for three years. She was earning much
less than her husband and was very concerned about spousal support.
They owned a home together valued at $2 million. There was another $1.2
million in assets, jewelry valued at $500,000, and an antique car collection
valued at $750,000.
Rebecca explained she wanted full custody and wanted to keep the marital
residence. She said she wanted to drag her husband through the court system
and expose his dating a patient, which might lose him his license.
After she calmed down, I told her battling in court may not be the best
solution. I encouraged her to consider mediation because her case, and
more importantly her family, deserved a compassionate approach to their divorce.
There were elements of this case that required some emotional sensitivity
and fair and legal negotiation. In addition, I told her it could cost
many, many thousands of the family assets to fight this case in court,
and not to mention taking several years. I explained this approach was
not wise or necessary. Revenge can be expensive!
After a while, she calmed down and agreed mediation might be a better approach
if he agreed. I invited her husband in an email to have a conversation
with me about mediation. He called, we had an intense conversation and
he agreed to give mediation a try. I’m happy to report, in this
case, mediation really worked.
Rebecca eventually lgot full custody of the children. Josh wasn’t
that interested in having joint custody anyway; he said fatherhood wasn’t
that easy for him. Rebecca received generous spousal support and the marital
residence as part of her settlement. The value of the assets, jewelry,
and car collection was distributed fairly.
Rebecca is happily remarried again and expecting a baby with her new husband.
Josh married and divorced his patient and has been enjoying liberal visitation
with his daughters.
You see, life does go on after divorce!
If this sounds like you, please know that discussion, compassion, negotiation,
and solid legal guidance can solve your divorce problems. The untapped
magic of mediation can really help.
If you would like to share your story with me, call me. I will give you
common-sense answers to all your divorce questions. I will help you, as
I did with Rebecca and Josh and their family, to find a silver lining,
using my powerful divorce mediation method so you can move on with your
FREE consultations are
discreetly and conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to hearing your story and helping you find the best possible solution.
Stay healthy and safe!
Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to schedule your Free Consultation
and to learn more about mediation which can save you time, money, and