I receive calls all the time - I actually received a few this past weekend
- from frantic spouses saying, “I’ve been served with a summons
for divorce, what do I do?” They were super surprised receiving
a summons for divorce during the holidays!
As a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator for over 35
years, I explain three things. First, I tell them they have been formally
put on notice that their spouse has filed a petition for divorce.
I also ask them to look at the summons & complaint to see what their
spouse is asking for, like spousal support, child support, distribution
of assets, division of property, custody, counsel fees, and so on.
Second, I tell them that when you are properly served, a clock starts in
court. In every state, there is a limit to the amount of time you have
to file and serve an answer to your spouse's divorce summons.
The number of days you have varies from state to state. However, in every
state, the countdown begins the day you are served with your divorce papers.
In New York State it is normally 20 days.
Thirdly, I tell them not to be afraid. There is help and there are a few
ways to respond.
My role as a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator is to
be legally informative and emotionally supportive in a sad and difficult
time, especially during the holidays with emotions running high. I try
to pave the path to productive discussions amidst a flurry of anger and
confusion to help a spouse make the right decisions.
So if you are served with a summons, I suggest you do the following:
- Speak with a divorce attorney/mediator. Find out what your rights are,
and what you are entitled to;
- Consider mediation - mediation is less stressful, not adversarial, more
manageable, amicable, cost effective and less time consuming;
- Acknowledge your emotions! They will range from tears, to anger, to wanting
revenge. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt!;
- Don’t try to hold on to someone who wants out. You don’t need
to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t want to
be with you. You deserve much better!;
- Hire a divorce attorney/mediator who feels right to you. Someone you connect
with and who will guide, support and fight for you and your family!
Struggling relationships often end in divorce because the couple has personality
differences and have stopped trying and drifted apart. Feelings are ignored
and more often than not, one spouse wants to stay, while the other spouse
wants to go.
When a spouse decides to end a marriage, they have often made this decision
in response to their needs not being met, a breakdown in communication,
or simply not wanting to be married any longer.

If you get served with a summons, don’t wait, call me!
I will be happy to speak with you and walk you through your options.
Divorce doesn’t have to be painful, divisive or expensive! It can
be amicable, cooperative and less expensive!
Having successfully served NYC for over 35 years as an experienced New
York divorce attorney and medically-trained mediator, I can tell you a
divorce with dignity is possible.
Call me to schedule a free consultation. 212.734.1551.
All our
FREE CONSULTATIONS are discreetly and
conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
If you are served with a summons, call me first!
Stay healthy and safe!
Warm regards,
Lois
New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner is available to help you with your divorce!
Please call to schedule your FREE consultation now.
We can book a consultation for you immediately!
If you have been served with a summons, call Lois Brenner first!
Call 212.734.1551