As a divorce attorney and psychologically trained mediator, I hear from
spouses all the time about their depression and anxiety, especially during
the holidays. The pain, turmoil and chaos of divorce for many, is terrifying
and extremely painful during a time we are all supposed to be happy and
celebrating the holidays!
Unfortunately, depression and anxiety are not unusual when thinking of
divorce or beginning one. I encourage those thinking of or starting a
divorce to breathe and not be too hard on themselves. Divorce is an emotional
rollercoaster. You will need emotional strength to ride the ups and downs.
The best way to handle this is with “self-care”. Do whatever
it takes to make yourself feel better and worthy of a better life.
You can learn to manage these turbulent feelings, and eventually they will
go away. Divorce is similar to death. It requires understanding, and management
of the stages of grief, anger, and for some denial.
Depression and anxiety while thinking of or during a divorce is inevitable
– but not endless. You can learn to manage these feelings, and they
will eventually dissipate.
Don’t let divorce depression cloud what you need to do. If it’s
time to divorce or you are already in the midst of divorce, there are
things you can do to reduce the depression and anxiety. Find comfort in
knowing you are not alone, and give yourself whatever support is necessary
so you can thrive!
Here are my best tips for managing depression and anxiety during your divorce:
Take Baby Steps
Get up and move! Find motivation. Do you want out of an abusive relationship?
Do you want a better life for your children? If so, use this as your motivation
to fight and overcome the paralyzing effects of depression and start working
towards getting your divorce. Start looking online at attorneys, and mediators,
read reviews, call for consultations, and consider joining an online support
group. Devote just an hour per day to getting prepared. You will feel
better once you are being productive. Give it a try!
Once you have started to move, keep going. Build on the momentum. Start
to narrow down the attorney/mediators you have consulted. Make a list
of the pros and cons of all. Think about your next steps. If you are still
feeling a heavy weight and are having trouble getting to the next step
consider working with a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. For
some people medication is a great help. When I consult with spouses and
I see and hear they are in emotional pain, I often recommend therapy and
give referrals from my team of experts. Having a strong support team during
a divorce is powerful and productive. Don’t be afraid to take advantage
of every tool in your arsenal to support yourself! The best way to tackle
depression and anxiety is to keep moving! Even small efforts will help
balance your mood.
See the Light at the End of the Tunnel
Yes, there is light. You will get through your divorce, you will start
over, and you will be happy again. Think it, and believe it. It seems
way off in the distance, and it is. But, you are on the path, the road
to ending a horrible marriage, finding your independence again, hearing
your own voice, and making a new life for yourself and your family. Stay
focused and productive. Take one important step every day towards making
your divorce happen.
Depression and anxiety are common by-products of divorce. After all, everything
familiar in your life is changing. You are headed into the unknown. It’s
really scary! But if you surround yourself with the best professionals,
family, and friends, you will make it through. I see good outcomes all the time.
Spouses who thought they wouldn’t make it, are now on the other side
of divorce, adjusting and finding a new and better way to live. You can too!
I know you’re afraid, but you don’t have to be. Divorce is
a journey that you don’t have to take alone. It is also a process
that can be fair, productive and successful. Let me guide you to the divorce
path that is comforting, supportive and peaceful. If you are thinking
of divorce or want to implement a divorce during the holidays, I’m
a phone call away with lots of good advice, and I am a great listener!
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are
conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to hearing from you, and to helping you to find the best
possible painless divorce solution!
Stay healthy and safe!
New York divorce attorney Lois Brenner is a phone call away!
Please call to schedule your FREE consultation now.
Immediate consultations are available upon request.