When a married couple goes through a divorce, one of the most contested
issues is often their children.
As a psychologically-trained mediator and divorce attorney for more than
35 years, I’ve seen countless custody disputes. For many years,
courts ruled in favor of the mother as the parent who retained full custody
of the children while leaving a lot of good fathers with the short end
of the stick.
In those cases, the ones that suffered the most were the children, who
needed and deserved the love and support of both parents.
In recent years, because of the changing family dynamic where both parents
are often in the work force full-time, and because the contributions of
fathers are becoming more appreciated, the legal system has started to
give fathers joint or even full custody. But many dads are not aware of
this and have little knowledge of their parental rights.
What’s a father to do?
First, it’s a good idea to be aware of what the word “custody”
actually means. Custody is not necessarily about the physical location
where the children live, it’s about the right to make major decisions
on such things as:
• Where the kids will go to school
• The religion of the children
• The medical care the children will receive
For fathers who want shared custody of the children (and this goes for
mothers as well), it’s better not to fight about it through the
legal system. The best thing you can do is use the skills of a professional
mediator as well as a therapist who will talk you and your soon-to-be
former spouse through the logistics of making decisions and compromises
where there are no losers—especially not the children.
Fighting through the legal system is messy, expensive, and unpredictable,
and during this pandemic not easily accessible. Judges can make decisions
about the future of your children without having all of the facts or a
true understanding of the psychological dynamics.
Additionally, fathers going through a divorce have not only the right,
but the responsibility to make sure they are able to preserve and nurture
a healthy relationship with their children.
Divorce is a life-changing event and a dad can better prepare his children
for this by speaking to a therapist. By seeing a professional counselor,
fathers can examine issues surrounding their children who will need extra
emotional support during and after a divorce. The age of the children
at the time of the divorce is also a crucial factor.
There are numerous self-help and legal books including mine, Getting Your
Share… which can help fathers learn more about their parental rights
and prepare them and their children for what lies ahead during a divorce.
As a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator helping families
successfully for over 35 years, I can help you and your family with creative
parenting agreements that will keep you out of court and your children
Consider my unique mediation process. Let me help keep your family happy
and whole. Call me to hear all the details.
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are very informative and conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk!
I look forward to speaking with you.
Continue to stay healthy and safe!
If you are a dad and want to know your rights call Attorney Lois Brenner
now to schedule your FREE consultation!
Immediate consultations are available upon your request.