Are you wondering how you are going to survive financially if divorce comes
knocking at your door?
I received a phone call over the weekend from a devastated spouse who said,
“I can’t believe it, I have been married, I thought happily
for 10 years, and today my spouse said, “I want a divorce. I’m
not happy. I have met someone else. I’ve realized life is too short
living in this insane pandemic. I want to be happy. This marriage is over!”
She said her whole life just flashed before her eyes. She didn’t
see this coming and didn’t know what to do. The main concern was
that she had given up her career as a teacher and had stayed home to raise
three children. She had supported the efforts of her spouse who had achieved
great success and a partnership in a high profile law firm in New York
City. Now she feared what lay ahead for herself and the children financially.
These days there are still some spouses who give up careers to stay at
home to raise the children. They often spend most of their marriage helping
to support, and in some cases to build, their spouses’ careers/businesses
in the best interest of the family. But, if at some point you or your
spouse want out of the marriage, will you be prepared? Will you be able
to survive financially?
The answer is Yes! But I strongly suggest you always keep your finger on
the financial pulse of your marriage and family. Don’t be in the
dark. Don’t leave all the financial decisions to your spouse. Insist
on being a partner in all the financial decisions and know where all the
money is invested. Look at all bills, statements, payments, etc. Don’t
forget about yourself along the way, keep your skills sharp and don’t
forget to stay present in your marriage. Always put aside some money for yourself!
Here are my 6 Divorce Tips for Stay-at-Home Moms:
1. Make a plan before you move forward with a divorce. Sometimes you won’t
have that luxury especially if your spouse walks through the door and
says, “I want a divorce.” So be prepared. Review your skills
and finances and evaluate your ability to support yourself financially.
2. If you find yourself falling behind on taking care of yourself and your
skills, you may want to take some courses or become certified in a particular
3. If you have skills and can return to work, update your resume and explore
what opportunities exist. Create a work-at-home opportunity for yourself
and start networking with friends already in the work force.
4. If you don’t have separate assets, consider having a separate
bank account, set one up and start saving some money. You will need money
for a retainer for an attorney or mediator if divorce does rear its ugly head.
5. Review all your expenses. Make a budget. What are you spending now?
What will you be able to spend after the divorce for your own household?
Know how much you will need to survive. Start implementing changes to
cut back on expenses and put some money aside for yourself.
6. Visualize the life you want! Life will change after divorce. Some things
will be better, others more challenging. Think about where you want to
live, what type of career you will embark on, and how you will be prepared
financially to handle all of these changes.
It’s important to remember, child support and spousal support (if
you are entitled to them) do not last forever. The sooner you can stand
on your own two feet, the better you will feel.
If you are a stay-at-home mom, I want you to feel encouraged and empowered
by “being prepared” if divorce should occur in your marriage.
If you are thinking about divorce or your spouse has just told you they
want a divorce, call me. I will help you prepare emotionally and financially
for the next steps.
As a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator, I have been
successfully guiding divorcing families using compassion, a keen legal
strategy, and a unique psychological insight for over 35 years.
Speak with me so I can educate you, explain what you are entitled to, and
give you some suggestions on how to financially move forward with your divorce.
Call me now to schedule your free consultation. 212.734.1551.
I promise to listen, and I will give you good advice.
During the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic all our
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are discreetly and conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to speaking with you!
Stay healthy and safe!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner if you are a stay-at-home spouse
and need guidance!
We have a few appointments still available this week!