As a seasoned New York family law attorney, mediator, and psychologically-trained
medical professional, I regularly advise mothers and fathers going through
divorce who are considering a custody action.
For those couples who can agree on custody, I help them make amicable custody
decisions. For those spouses who cannot agree on custody, I fight for
what is in the best interest of the child.
Often these concerned parents have a fair amount of misconceptions as to
what custody actually means.
From the outset, it’s important to know that custody is not just
about where the child resides physically. It’s about the right to
make major decisions on matters which includes the child’s residence,
education, medical care and religious upbringing.
In my over thirty-five years of experience, I’ve witnessed custody
battles that can be vicious, lengthy, excessively expensive and painful
for the children.
For parents going through a divorce, if you want to be sure you make the
right choice when it comes to your child’s custody – put your
child first and consider that there are peaceful methods for settling
a custody dispute.
Consider the following:
1. Mediator: A third party who can help negotiate an acceptable agreement.
This is a person who helps spouses communicate but doesn’t make
any decisions for them. Someone who can save you time and tens of thousands
of dollars. I have successfully navigated parenting agreements with creative
solutions for parents that have been in the best interest of the child
and the family. Why fight and spend money over an issue that can be discussed
rationally and resolved civilly. A parenting agreement puts you in the
driver’s seat. You can peacefully and rationally make decisions
together for your family together!
2. Lawyers Negotiate Out of Court: As straightforward as it sounds, it’s
for spouses who tell their attorneys to try to stay out of court. This
may be an option when spouses have engaged in threatening, deceptive,
or manipulative behavior between each other. Unable to resolve conflict
on their own, they must come to a reasonable solution using their attorneys
outside of the courtroom.
3. Parent Coordinator: This is a relatively new practice used in some states
to manage ongoing issues in high-conflict child custody and visitation
cases. This is usually performed by a professional psychologist or a social
worker assigned by the Court. The coordinator meets with both parents
regularly, handles questions and complaints, and makes recommendations
to the mother and father. These are usually supported by the judge.
There are times when using the court to settle child custody is necessary.
But understand judges can make decisions about the future of your children
without having all of the facts or a true understanding of the psychological
dynamics within your family. This option is often the priciest and most risky.
If you have any questions regarding a peaceful, creative, and less expensive
approach to child custody, please call me at 212.734.1551.
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are
conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to helping you make custody decisions that are in the best
interest of your child and your family.
Stay healthy & safe!
New York Divorce lawyer Lois Brenner is offering a free child custody consultation.
We have a few openings still available this week.