I often tell my clients going through a divorce, the only predictability
in life is change. We all dread and reluctantly develop coping mechanisms
for managing the inevitable change that is part of being human, just as
we are all adjusting to life and it’s many changes right now.
In order to make good use of the curve balls life throws at us, it’s
best if we can do more than just cope. We have to embrace changes, prepare
for them when we can, and face them head on when we get hit from behind.
A new beginning can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Conquering
and choosing change can be empowering.
A new beginning for some of us might be buying a new home, pivoting and
starting a new business or going to therapy for the first time.
For others change might be fixing a bad habit, leaving a miserable marriage
after many years, or deciding to end an unhealthy codependent relationship.
While new beginnings can be exhilarating, they can also force us to learn
new skills and stretch outside of our comfort zone.
As is the case with some of my divorce clients, change can be beyond your
control. This really requires strength and resilience. This type of change
is often harder to handle emotionally because you are not in charge. Someone,
or something else has created change in your life. This might happen due
to a divorce, disaster, illness or death. This kind of change stirs up
all kinds of uncomfortable feelings. This type of starting over is unexpected,
I heard from many spouses over the last few years who were tired of being
trapped in miserable marriages. The pandemic caused many to take a closer
look at their lives and to decide to make changes they never thought possible.
A new client recently said to me, “I deserve better. I’m smart,
capable and want a better life for me and my children. I don’t have
to accept a spouse who lies, puts me down, and endangers my life by sleeping
with men. I want a divorce. I’m really sacred but where do I start?”
Due to my psychological training, and over 35 years’ experience as
a divorce attorney and mediator, I offer emotionally tempered suggestions
to spouses on how to approach divorce. Sometimes, I am actually part of
that introductory process, especially when my psychologically-infused
divorce mediation method is being used. This highly successful process
saves couples, money, time and unnecessary pain.
Big life transitions like divorce are powerful times in our lives. We are
invited to release what is outgrown in our lives and allow space for new
life to flow in. It’s hard to imagine a new chapter of your life
is starting in the midst of such pain and confusion. But every ending
is a new beginning.
Change is an invitation to recreate our lives, and ourselves. It is often
a time to flourish in ways you might never have considered. Change can
be a wonderful unexpected opportunity.
If you want to make a change in your life, and you are thinking of divorce,
take this first step. Remember, starting over requires confidence, courage
and the determination.
If you need help with making this change, call me. I can also guide you
on how to safely approach your spouse with the difficult conversation
All our highly informative 1 Hour Consultations are FREE!
All consultations and mediation sessions arediscreetly and conveniently available virtually.
I look forward to speaking with you!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer, Lois Brenner now to book your free consultation.