Getting custody of your children when divorcing can be a challenge.
Most courts prefer a shared or joint custody arrangement. When a spouse
wants sole custody, I often tell them that as a psychologically-trained
divorce attorney and mediator for over 35 years they will have to show
having sole custody will be in the best interest of the child. I skillfully
guide clients on how to prepare properly, both legally and psychologically,
so they get the sole custody they want.
If getting sole custody is important to you, here are some pointers:
- Don’t Talk About Your Divorce With Your Children
You may be tempted to do so, but don’t. Let your children be children.
Do not burden them with an adult subject. Don’t demonstrate poor
judgment. Don’t ask them questions about your spouse. Don’t
share details with your child.
- Don’t Talk Negatively About Your Ex
Your children may ask difficult questions. It’s important to be honest,
but you need to be positive and not bad-mouth your spouse. Keep your opinions
and feelings to yourself. Don’t put the weight of speaking negatively
about your spouse on your child. Speak to family, friends or a therapist,
not to your child.
- Don’t Misuse Alcohol or Drugs
Don't misuse alcohol or drugs especially when you are with your children.
This behavior will provide ammunition for your spouse. Making a poor choice
hurts your children. You cannot behave in any way that will put your children
at risk. Your role as a parent is to make good choices that will protect
It disappoints your child! Show up, arrive on time, show your children
they matter. Let them know they are a priority! Being irresponsible in
this way can communicate to your spouse or the court that you are not
a committed parent. Divorce is very hard on children. Try to demonstrate
as often as possible that you are reliable and their protector.
Going to court is not the only way to get custody of your child. You can
also discuss custody using the process of divorce mediation. If a parent
is not capable of having custody and understands this, custody can be
arranged mutually by the spouses without going into a court setting.
As a divorce mediator and attorney, I have helped many couples negotiate
custody arrangements that suit the needs of each spouse. Sometimes sole
custody serves the children better if there is a spouse who is medically
ill, mentally ill, abusive, dealing with an addiction, abandonment, or
If you need help with custody of any type, sole or joint, I can help you
secure the type of custody that will be in the “best interest of
For over 35 years, as a divorce attorney and custody expert, I have fought
for the rights of children and their families in the divorce process.
Let me help you and your family. Call me now to schedule your free consultation.
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to helping you secure the custody of your child.
Stay healthy and safe!
New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner is available for a FREE consultation.