When considering divorce, clients are usually familiar with going to court
and fighting. More and more couples are learning there are effective,
Some spouses want to fight but others don’t. Having a choice is truly
a gift. Finding the right path requires thoughtful consideration, skilled
professional guidance and superior legal strategy.
As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney/mediator for over 35 years,
I have successfully guided many, many spouses towards the path that is
right for them and their family.
Believe it or not, there are those spouses who only want to fight. But
for those open to a non-adversarial option, there is a more positive and
peaceful solution—it’s mediation. Litigation is not the only choice.
Both paths, litigation and mediation, lead to a divorce, but the journey,
emotional and financial investment, and the process are very different.
Let me guide you for the best path for you!
Under the traditional system, imported from England originally, couples
went to court to obtain a divorce.
Each spouse hires his or her own "advocate," and they engage
in what is normally an adversarial process. The steps can include negotiation
between the attorneys. If or when this is not working, there is always
the threat of
"going to court," where a judge will make decisions about all
the issues, including custody and visitation, child support, spousal support,
and the division of property.
The court process is particularly daunting. It includes serving a summons
and complaint, an answer, and exchanging financial information and documents.
This exchange is called "discovery," and it is, in fact, a way to find
out the facts about the parties' finances. It can include subpoenas
served on banks, businesses and third parties. It may also include applications
made to the court for various types of relief, such as temporary child
and spousal support,
interim custody, and counsel fees.
Once you get locked into the system, it is extremely hard to find your
way out. It is expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. Ultimately,
it may be the only vehicle for warring couples of a certain ilk. In some
cases I call this the vehicle used to “punish.” This path
is often attractive to spouses who want revenge, enjoy conflict, and seek
to maintain control over the other spouse.
This path to divorce involves working with an unbiased mediator, usually
a lawyer, whose function it is to assist a couple in a peaceful process,
to make decisions together and arrive at an agreement that is fair to both.
For people who have never experienced it, mediation is surprisingly and
stunningly effective. It is quick, inexpensive, and not
adversarial. It is a three-part process, consisting of the negotiations,
the preparation of an agreement, and preparation and submission of the
divorce documents to a judge for signature.
In the last decade, mediation has become the popular choice of many divorcing
couples, especially millennials.
For some spouses in abusive relationships, continuing to struggle in an
unhealthy marriage is no longer acceptable-life is just too short.
I have guided many individuals on how to safely discuss divorce with their
spouse, and how to introduce mediation as a positive, less expensive alternative
to going to court.
I can help you too!
If you are thinking of divorcing and would like to discuss litigation vs.
mediation, call me. We can talk about the details of your marriage and
select the best path for you.
As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I will compassionately
guide you towards the best option for you and your family.
For those of you not quite ready for divorce, there are other options,
like a separation or postnuptial agreement.
Call me today and we can discuss the right path for you. My consultations,
which are free, are informative and comprehensive.
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.
We still have appointments available for this week.
I look forward to helping you.
When it comes to your future and that of your family, don’t leave
anything to chance.
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois M. Brenner, Esq. to schedule your free