A postnuptial agreement, also known as a postnup, is a legal contract between
spouses that outlines the division of assets and liabilities in the event
of divorce or separation.
While prenuptial agreements are typically signed before the marriage, postnuptial
agreements are signed after the couple has already tied the knot.
Although postnuptial agreements are often associated with divorce, they
can also be a great tool to strengthen and sometimes even save a marriage.
By setting clear expectations and boundaries, a postnuptial agreement can
help to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts that could lead to divorce.
As a psychologically trained family law attorney/mediator and postnuptial
agreement specialist, I have drafted thousands of postnuptial agreements
over the last 35 years.
Below are some of the areas to consider when drafting a postnuptial agreement
when you want to save your marriage!
Addressing Financial Issues
One of the most common reasons for marital discord is financial problems.
Money can be a significant source of stress and tension in a relationship,
particularly if one spouse earns significantly more than the other or
if there are differences in how each partner wants to spend or save money.
A postnuptial agreement can help to alleviate some of these concerns by
outlining the financial responsibilities of each spouse. For example,
the agreement might specify that each spouse is responsible for their
own debts, or that certain assets, such as a business or inheritance,
will remain separate property. By setting these expectations in advance,
couples can avoid misunderstandings and disputes that might otherwise
lead to divorce.
A postnuptial agreement might outline each spouse's responsibilities
for household chores or child-rearing duties. It could also specify how
decisions will be made regarding major life events, such as relocation
or career changes.
By setting these expectations in writing, couples can avoid misunderstandings
and disagreements that might otherwise lead to resentment and conflict.
When both partners understand their roles and responsibilities, they are
more likely to work together and support each other, which can strengthen
While a postnuptial agreement cannot prevent infidelity, it can provide
a framework for how the couple will handle it if it occurs.
For example, the agreement might specify that if one spouse cheats, they
will forfeit their rights to certain assets or agree to a higher level
of financial support for the other spouse. By setting these consequences
in advance, couples can discourage infidelity and provide a clear path
for moving forward if it does occur.
Preventing a Power Imbalance
A power imbalance in a relationship can be a significant source of stress
and tension. For example, if one spouse earns significantly more than
the other or if one partner has more control over important decisions,
it can create feelings of resentment and frustration.
A postnuptial agreement can help to prevent a power imbalance by outlining
each spouse's rights and responsibilities. For example, the agreement
might specify that both partners have an equal say in major financial
decisions or that both partners are entitled to a certain level of support
in the event of divorce. By establishing these guidelines in advance,
couples can avoid power struggles and build a stronger, more equal relationship.
Providing Peace of Mind
By knowing that their assets and liabilities are protected and that their
expectations are clear, couples can relax and enjoy their relationship
without worrying about what might happen in the event of divorce.
This peace of mind can be particularly valuable for couples who have already
experienced marital problems. By signing a postnuptial agreement, they
can address their concerns and fears head-on, which can help to rebuild
trust and strengthen the marriage.
I’d like to share with you a prenup story with a happy ending!
I received a call from a spouse about 8 months ago who was distraught and
looking for help. He told me his wife had been addicted to shopping for
a few years early in their marriage but had eventually gotten a handle
on her spending. He recently figured out she was overspending again after
seeing credit card bills for many, many thousands of dollars. He told
me he couldn’t go through the overspending again and was reluctantly
thinking of getting a divorce.
He told me he still loved his wife and didn’t really want to leave
her but couldn’t see any other way. He told me she knew how disappointed
he was and begged him not to divorce her. She promised she would help
pay off the enormous credit card debts and go to therapy.
Since he still loved her, I suggested they consider a postnuptial agreement
which would outline consequences if his wife continued spending and didn’t
get help. I further explained the postnuptial agreement would provide
them with a road map if the divorce eventually occurred.
I recommended a wonderful therapist on my team adept at treating this type of issue.
They decided to try the postnuptial agreement, and so far, so good.
Only you truly know about your marriage. The two of you are in the best
position to decide when divorce is right for you. But if your love prevails
and saving your marriage is a priority, a postnuptial agreement may be
a great alternative to divorce. This is the perfect vehicle to give your
marriage another chance!
Call me to schedule a free consultation so we can determine together if
a postnuptial agreement is a viable option to help your marriage.
As a highly experienced, psychologically trained family law attorney and
mediator with over 35 years of experience, I can give you the guidance you need!
All our FREE 1-HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually!
I look forward to speaking with you.
Looking to save your marriage, call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner,
a postnuptial agreement specialist, right now!
Schedule your Free 1-Hour Consultation today!
Let me help you give your love another chance!