I often tell my clients going through a divorce, the only predictability
in life is change. We all dread and reluctantly develop coping mechanisms
for managing the inevitable change that is part of being human.
In order to make good use of the curve balls life throws at us, it’s
best if we can do more than just cope. We have to embrace changes, prepare
for them when we can, and face them head on when we get hit from behind.
A new beginning can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Conquering
and choosing change in 2023 can be empowering!
A new beginning for some of us might be starting a new diet, implementing
a new exercise program, getting married for the first time, having a child,
bringing a new pet into the home, or starting a new business.
For others change might be fixing a bad habit, leaving an unhealthy marriage
after many years, or deciding to end a toxic codependent relationship.
While new beginnings can be exhilarating, they can also force us to learn
new skills and stretch outside of our comfort zone.
As is the case with some of my divorce clients, change can be beyond your
control. Change that is not within your control really requires strength
and resilience. This type of change is often harder to handle emotionally
because you are not in charge. Someone, or something else has created
change in your life. This might happen due to a divorce, disaster, illness
or death. This kind of change stirs up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings.
I am hearing from many unhappy spouses, who have been simply existing in
their lives, that they have had enough and want change. They have decided
life is way too short to stay in an unhappy marriage.
A client recently said to me, “I want to breathe again. I’m
healthy and alive, I have a lot of life left and I don’t deserve
to be abused!” However, once she made this decision, the next part
was a big challenge. She asked me, as many spouses do these days, during
our free one-hour consultation, “How do I tell my husband that this
marriage is over?”
Due to my psychological training, and over 35 years’ experience as
a divorce attorney and mediator, I offer emotionally tempered suggestions
to spouses on how to handle this difficult conversation. Sometimes, I
am actually part of that process, especially when my very effective divorce
mediation method is being used.
Big life transitions like divorce are powerful times in our lives. We are
invited to release what is outgrown in our lives and allow space for new
life to flow in. It’s hard to imagine a new chapter of your life
is starting in the midst of such pain and confusion. But every ending
can have a wonderful new beginning.
Change is an invitation to recreate our lives, and ourselves. It is often
a time to flourish in ways you might never have considered. Change can
be an exciting unexpected opportunity. My advice, for 2023 is “reach
out and take what you want!”
If you would like to make a change in your life for 2023, and you are thinking
of divorce, take this first step. Remember, starting over requires confidence,
courage and determination. You can do it!
If you need help with making this change, call me. I can also coach you
on how to safely approach your spouse with the difficult conversation
about divorce. It can be a lot easier than you think. I will be happy
to share with you some of my truly successful methods.
All our highly informative 1 Hour Consultations are FREE!
All consultations are still available virtually!
Let’s talk. ou have everything to gain! Learn more right now!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to learn how divorce mediation
can make your divorce less painful, and expensive.
Schedule your free consultation now! 212.734.1551