I had a consultation last week with a devastated spouse who said tearfully,
“I can’t believe it, I have been married, I thought happily,
for 12 years, and today my spouse said he wants a divorce to marry his
childhood sweetheart. This marriage is over!”
She said her whole life just flashed before her eyes. She didn’t
see this coming and didn’t know what to do. The main concern was
that she had given up her career as an architect and had stayed home with
the children and had supported the efforts of her spouse who had achieved
great success and owned 10 mailbox businesses in 4 states. Now she feared
what would happen to her financially if her husband divorced her.
As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator for more than 35 years,
I discussed all her options including the use of my unique divorce mediation
process that can save time, money, and stress! We have just started the
mediation process and I’m happy to report she will do just fine
These days there are still some spouses who give up careers to stay at
home to raise the children. They often spend most of their marriage helping
to support, and in some cases to build, their spouse’s careers/businesses
in the best interest of the family. But if at some point you or your partner
want out of the marriage, will you be prepared? Will you be able to survive
The answer is Yes! But I strongly suggest you always keep your finger on
the financial pulse of your marriage and family. Don’t be in the
dark. Don’t leave all the financial decisions to your spouse. Insist
on being a partner in all the financial decisions and know where all the
money is invested. Look at all bills, statements, payments, etc. Don’t
forget about yourself along the way, keep your skills sharp, and remember
to stay present in your marriage. Always put aside some money for yourself!
Here are my tips for financial safety in the event of a divorce:
- Make a plan before you move forward with a divorce. Sometimes you won’t
have that luxury, especially if your spouse walks through the door and
says, “I want a divorce.” So be prepared. Review your skills
and finances and evaluate your ability to support yourself financially.
- If you find yourself falling behind on taking care of yourself and your
skills, you may want to take some classes or become certified in a particular
- If you have skills and can return to work, update your resume and explore
what opportunities exist. Create a work-at-home opportunity for yourself
and start networking with friends already in the work force.
- If you don’t have separate assets, consider having a separate bank
account, set one up and start saving some money. You will need money for
a retainer for an attorney or mediator if divorce does rear its ugly head.
- Review all your expenses. Make a budget. What are you spending now? What
will you be able to spend after the divorce for your own household? Know
how much you will need to survive. Start implementing changes to cut back
on expenses, and put some money aside for yourself.
- Visualize the life you want. Your life will change after divorce. Some
things will be better, others more challenging. Think about where you
want to live, what type of career you will embark on, and how you will
be prepared financially to handle these changes.
If you are considering divorce and concerned about financial safety, I
want you to feel encouraged and empowered by “being prepared”
if divorce should occur in your marriage.
Call me today and I will help you prepare emotionally and financially for
the next steps. We can also discuss with you my money-saving divorce mediation process!
As a divorce attorney and psychologically trained mediator, I have been
successfully guiding divorcing families using compassion, keen legal strategy,
and my unique psychological insight for more than 35 years.
Speak with me so I can educate you, explain what you are entitled to, and
give you some suggestions on how to financially move forward with your divorce.
Call me now to schedule your free consultation. 212.734.1551.
I promise to listen, and I will give you good advice.
I look forward to speaking with you!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner if you are concerned about your
finances if you get divorced!
Schedule your free consultation now. Call 212.734.1551
We have a few appointments still available this week!