As a divorce attorney and psychologically trained mediator, I hear all
kinds of diverse divorce stories. I have decided to share some of these
stories monthly with you.
Naturally, I will change the names and some of the details to protect the
identity of my clients. The purpose of sharing these divorce stories with
you is to let you know you are not alone. There are peaceful, rational
solutions available to you.
You really can have a happily-ever-after.
Ariel and Michael were married for 8 years. They had 2 children, ages 6
and 4. They were both professionals. He is a real estate developer, she
is a pharmaceutical rep. They live in a large multimillion dollar home
in Westchester.
When I received a phone call from Ariel on a Saturday night, she was angry
and confused. She left a voice message saying she was shocked to find
out that her husband was cheating on her. She never saw this coming, and
he wasn’t even trying to deny it. She was devastated and wanted
to know what to do.
During our phone consultation the next day, she told me that their marriage
had been suffering for a long time. Her husband was distant, never at
home, and spent no time with their children. She had just learned he was
having an affair with one of his real estate clients. She found out because
she saw some suggestive emails between them. When she confronted him,
he did not deny it and said he wasn’t happy.
Ariel told me she was not going to stay in her marriage and wanted a divorce.
She also wanted revenge. She was very angry and wanted to keep his children from him.
I calmed her down and acknowledged her pain but explained revenge was not
necessarily the best approach. I told her that keeping his children from
him would only hurt her children and there were better ways to address
all the issues in the marriage.
I suggested she consider mediation as an amicable approach to her divorce
so they could keep things civil and the family could make healthy choices
while keeping their legal expenses down.
She agreed, and I offered to speak with her husband to explain how mediation
works. We reached out to her husband by email and he agreed to speak with
me. When I spoke with him, it became clear to me he wanted out of the
marriage. He admitted he fell in love with someone else and was not happy
in the marriage. He also agreed he wanted to do the right thing and provide
for his family.
I answered lots of his questions about mediation. He agreed mediation would
be an acceptable route for them to take since going to court would not
be a good option for them as a family.
Ariel and Michael started their mediation sessions soon after, but things
did not go smoothly. Ariel was very angry that Michael had cheated, and
she was having a lot of trouble managing her emotions. I actually introduced
her to one of the therapists on my team to help her with her sadness and
anger. This support helped her tremendously as we continued the mediation journey.
During our mediation sessions, I had to skillfully redirect Ariel’s
anger and insist reliving his cheating was not productive in this process.
Ariel and Michael had a few difficult and spirited conversations during
our mediation sessions but eventually, with my help, they were able to
have really productive conversations. Ultimately, they were able to make
important decisions about their finances, property, custody, and support.
Michael stayed true to what he had said to me in his initial consultation
and was generous with his family.
Their mediation has concluded now, and they have embraced their separate
lives. Ariel is still working with the therapist from my team and addressing
the grief she is feeling from the loss of her marriage. She mentioned
that she is looking forward to trying to date in the future but is not
ready yet.
Michael has moved on with his relationship with his real estate client
and hopes to marry next year.
The children are adjusting to mom and dad living separately and are enjoying
spending time at their dad’s new condo.
If this sounds like you, please know that discussion, compassion, negotiation,
and solid legal guidance can solve your divorce problems. The comprehensive
focus of my psychologically based divorce mediation process can really help.
If you would like to share your story with me, call me. I will give you
common sense answers to all your divorce questions. I will help you, as
I did with Ariel and her family, to find a silver lining using my powerful
divorce mediation method.
All our
FREE 1-HOUR CONSULTATIONS are
still available virtually.
I look forward to hearing your story and helping you find the best possible
solution whether it be mediation, negotiation or litigation.
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to schedule your Free Consultation.
212.734.1551