I often tell my clients going through a divorce, the only predictability
in life is change. We all dread and reluctantly develop coping mechanisms
for managing the inevitable change that is part of being human.
In order to make good use of the curve balls life throws at us, it’s
best if we can do more than just cope. We have to embrace changes, prepare
for them when we can, and face them head on when we get hit from behind.
A new beginning can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Conquering
and choosing change can be empowering!
A new beginning for some of us might be starting a new career, implementing
a new exercise program, getting married for the first time, having a child,
bringing a new pet into the home, or starting a new business.
For others change might be fixing a bad habit, leaving an unhealthy marriage
after many years, or deciding to end a toxic codependent relationship.
While new beginnings can be exhilarating, they can also force us to learn
new skills and stretch outside of our comfort zone.
As is the case with some of my divorce clients, change can be beyond your
control. Change that is not within your control really requires strength
and resilience. This type of change is often harder to handle emotionally
because you are not in charge. Someone, or something else has created
change in your life. This might happen due to a divorce, disaster, illness
or death. This kind of change stirs up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings.
Due to my psychological medical training, and over 35 years’ experience
as a divorce attorney and mediator, I offer emotionally informed suggestions
and stealth legal strategy to spouses on how to handle their challenging
Sometimes, I am actually part of this process, especially when my very
effective and highly successful divorce mediation method is being used.
Mediation offers a more amicable, less painful, less expensive approach
to divorce. With my unique mediation process,
everyone is a winner!
Mediation is a negotiated process between divorcing spouses on all the
important issues: finances, spousal support, property, child support,
custody and visitation.
As the divorce mediator, my role is to keep you talking, on track and to
make sure negotiations are reasonable and to offer creative suggestions
when you hit a roadblock.
The focus of mediation is for you to control your own divorce. Spouses
have the opportunity to discuss their personal needs and priorities and
to arrive together at an agreement that is fair to both of them.
Another appealing aspect of the mediation process is time and cost. Most
divorce mediation cases can be resolved in months instead of years, and
can cost thousands instead of tens of thousands of dollars. This process
can take weeks or months instead of years.
When spouses are considering separation or divorce, even if they are both
angry and having trouble communicating, I try to introduce them to divorce
mediation because I know how effective and family friendly this path can be.
As a divorce lawyer, and psychologically-trained mediator, I can help you
while you are divorcing to put your family first.
Big life transitions like divorce are powerful times in our lives. We are
invited to release what is outgrown and allow space for new life to flow
in. It’s hard to imagine a new chapter of your life is starting
in the midst of such pain and confusion. But every ending has a new beginning.
Change is an invitation to recreate our lives, and ourselves. It is often
a time to flourish in ways you might never have considered.
If you would like to make a change in your life and you are thinking of
divorce, take this first step with me. Remember, starting over requires
confidence, courage and determination. You can do it!
If you need help with making this change, call me. I can also coach you
on how to safely approach your spouse with the difficult conversation
about divorce. It can be a lot easier than you think. I will be happy
to share with you some of my truly successful methods.
Let’s talk. You have everything to gain! Learn more about mediation
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to learn how divorce mediation
can make your divorce less painful, and less expensive.
Schedule your free consultation now! 212.734.1551