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5 Tips to Help You Talk to Your Spouse about Divorce while in Quarantine


Kevin and Laurie have been married for 15 years. They have a 6 year old daughter with behavioral problems.

Kevin is a financial planner, and Laurie works part-time as a computer programmer.

For the past 2 years, Kevin has been concerned that his wife has been in denial about their daughter’s mental health issues, and Laurie is not willing to consider treatment.

Kevin has repeatedly asked his wife to take their daughter to see different psychologists, and to try different behavioral treatments. He has begged his wife to pay more attention to their daughter’s emotional and psychological needs.

He decided during the recent pandemic, while being quarantined with his family, that he had to make some really hard decisions in order to save his child.

After much deliberation, Kevin decided to get a divorce, and to be in a stronger position to help his daughter. The problem? He was having a really difficult time telling his wife he wanted a divorce while in quarantine with her, and he decided to call me to get some advice.

These days, this type of phone call for me is unfortunately the norm. With many unhappy couples spending so much time together, in what is now a pressure cooker, couples are reaching out for help in record numbers for help.

The most asked question I receive is “How do I talk to my spouse about divorce? I can’t do this anymore, but I’m afraid to bring divorce up while we’re home together all the time. What can I do?”

Here are a few suggestions I make to those seeking help that seems to work:

  1. Suggest therapy to your spouse and bring up your dissatisfaction with the relationship while working with the therapist. This can be accomplished these days during Zoom or Skype sessions.
  2. Tell your spouse that now that you are spending so much time together, you realize there are some serious issues that need to be addressed.
  3. Tell your partner that you seem to be on different paths, and suggest that you spend some time separately with your children. Stay with a friend for a few days but call your children.
  4. Tell your spouse you think your relationship has been deteriorating, and ask his/her opinion.
  5. Discuss divorce in the context of mediation which will permit the family to work with a third party who will facilitate healthy, non-adversarial discussions in a compassionate, non-threatening environment by Zoom or Skype.

No matter what answer or reaction you get, it is important to try to avoid an argument. I know this is difficult.

It is important to try to just listen and acknowledge that you hear your spouse. Don't push the discussion into details, and don’t start bringing up issues from the past. This takes a lot of finesse and self-control.

As a highly experienced, psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator with over 35 years of experience, I can guide you on several ways to approach the subject of divorce with your spouse. Don’t hesitate to call me.

During the ongoing COVID-19 Pandemic all our FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are conveniently conducted virtually by telephone or TeleDivorce by Zoom or Skype to reduce risk and maintain safety for everyone!

We still have some appointments available for this week.

I look forward to helping you.

Stay Home, Stay Healthy & Stay Safe!

Warm regards,


Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to book your Free 1 Hour Consultation. 212.734.1551