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What to Do When Your Wife Wants a Divorce!


It is not unusual for a husband to all of a sudden hear from his wife that she wants a divorce.

There can be a lot of factors influencing a partner to come to this decision; financial difficulties, another man, or a wife not wanting to be part of a controlling or abusive relationship any more!

Struggling relationships often end in divorce because the couple has stopped trying, and drifted apart. Feelings are ignored and more often than not, one spouse wants to stay, while the other spouse wants to go. They have become disconnected emotionally and physically.

Every person who is contemplating divorce struggles with the question of whether or not divorce is the right decision.

I tell couples to talk about divorce in detail before ending their marriage.

When a wife decides to end a marriage they have often made this decision in response to their needs not being met, a breakdown in communication, or simply not wanting to be married any longer.

Once a couple has this conversation, It’s very important to get the proper guidance.

My role as a divorce attorney and mediator for over 35 years is to be a supportive ally in a difficult transition. I can pave the path to productive discussions amidst a flurry of very high emotions.

I suggest the following:

  1. Speak with a divorce attorney/mediator. Find out what you’re rights are, and what you are entitled to;
  1. Consider mediation - mediation is less stressful, more manageable, amicable, cost effective and less time consuming;
  1. Don’t rehash the past or obsess on having to know “Why”. Divorce is about moving forward with knowledge and dignity. Knowing “why” will not make the process any easier;
  1. Manage your emotions! They will range from tears, to anger, to wanting revenge. It’s okay to feel all those emotions.
  1. Don’t try to hold on to someone who wants out;
  1. Start pulling together the important information you will need: tax documents, investment statements, W-2’s, property deeds, life insurance policies, and pensions.

If I can help you with this process please let me know.

I would be happy to speak with you and your spouse to explain the many benefits of mediation.Mediation is a family friendly approach to divorce.Remember, divorce doesn’t have to be painful or divisive.

I received a call over this past weekend from a husband who had just been served with divorce papers.He was actually shocked. He didn’t see it coming and was very upset.We discussed all the next steps and we are attempting to address this matter with his wife offering a mediation option so this transition can be more amicable.His wife is considering it and we are scheduled to speak later this week.

Having served NYC for over 35 years as a divorce attorney and mediator, I can tell you a divorce with dignity is possible. Mediation is the answer. If your wife has just told you she wants a divorce or you have been served with a summons for divorce, call me now to find out what is possible!

I know you must be surprised to hear your spouse wants a divorce, but you will be okay and I’m here to help.

I would be happy to speak with you alone or with you and your spouse to explain the many benefits of mediation.

All our highly informative 1 Hour Consultations are FREE!

All consultations and mediation sessions are still available virtually.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Warm regards,


Call New York Divorce Lawyer, Lois Brenner now to book your free consultation. 212.734.1551