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Did Your Spouse Just Tell You They Want a Divorce?


If your spouse just told you they want a divorce, breathe! Know that you will be okay and I’m here to help!

My role as a divorce attorney and psychologically trained mediator is to be supportive in a sad and difficult transition. I can pave the path to productive discussions amidst a flurry of very high emotions. I can help you find your “voice of reason” so that decisions are made in your best interest.

It is not unusual for a spouse to hear with no warning from the other that they want a divorce.

There can be a lot of factors influencing a partner to come to this decision. It could be another woman or man, a midlife crisis, psychological issues or financial difficulties.

Struggling relationships often end in divorce because the couple has stopped trying and drifted apart. Feelings are ignored and more often than not, one spouse wants to stay, while the other spouse wants to go.

Couples over the last two years have become disconnected emotionally and physically. Most people who are contemplating divorce struggle with the question as to whether or not divorce is the right decision.

I encourage couples to talk about divorce in detail before ending their marriage.

When a spouse decides to end a marriage they have often made this decision in response to their needs not being met, a breakdown in communication, or simply not wanting to be married any longer.

Once you have the “divorce conversation”, it’s very important to get the proper guidance and professionals to support you.

Here are 7 Tips to Get You on the Right Path to Your Divorce:

1. Speak with a divorce attorney/mediator. Find out what your rights are, and what you are entitled to;

2. Consider mediation - mediation is less stressful, not adversarial, more manageable, amicable, cost effective and less time consuming; and if you still have the luxury of some form of civil conversation, mediation is a much better option than fighting in court and causing more pain in the family.

3. Don’t rehash the past or obsess about having to know “why”. Divorce is about moving forward with knowledge and dignity. Knowing “why” will not make the process itself any easier;

4. Acknowledge your emotions! They will range from tears to anger, to wanting revenge. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt!;

5. Don’t try to stay tied to a marriage where you are not wanted. You don’t need to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t love you or want to be with you. I know this is difficult.

6. Start pulling together the important information you will need: tax documents, investment statements, W-2’s, property titles, life insurance policies, and pension statements. Don’t forget to take a look at your expenses and start developing a budget.

7. Surround yourself with those who love you! Divorce is a challenging journey. Reach out to family and friends for support. Consider seeing a therapist, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

If your spouse has just told you they want a divorce, call me. I will be happy to speak with you to explain the many benefits of mediation.

Mediation is a family and financially friendly approach to divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be more painful, divisive or expensive!

If we determine during our conversation that litigation will be the only path given the complex dynamics of your marriage, I will introduce you to my highly skilled litigation team to explore the best legal strategies for you and your family.

Having successfully served NYC for more than 35 years as an experienced New York divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator, I can tell you a divorce with less pain is possible.

Call me to schedule a free discreet consultation. 212.734.1551.

All our FREE CONSULTATIONS are conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.

I look forward to speaking with you!

Stay healthy and safe!

Warm regards,


New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner is available to help you with your divorce!

Please call to schedule your FREE consultation now.

We can book a consultation for you immediately!

Call 212.734.1551