Skip to Content

What to Do When Your Wife Wants a Divorce!


It is not unusual for a husband to all of a sudden hear from his wife that she wants a divorce.

There can be a lot of factors influencing a partner to come to this decision; feeling neglected or abused, financial difficulties, or perhaps another man.

Struggling relationships often end in divorce because the couple has stopped communicating, and the relationship has fallen apart. Feelings are ignored and more often than not, one spouse wants to stay, while the other spouse wants to go. They have become disconnected emotionally and physically.

Every person who is contemplating divorce struggles with the question of whether or not divorce is the right decision.

I tell couples to talk about divorce in detail before ending their marriage. I suggest they speak with a therapist from my team so they can fully discuss their issues and find direction with the guidance of a third party. Sometimes the final conclusion is divorce.

When a wife decides to end a marriage she has often made this decision in response to her needs not being met, a breakdown in communication, or simply not wanting to be married any longer, and in some cases to remove herself from a controlling and abusive relationship.

I get asked very often how to bring up the topic of divorce and I have some interesting ideas.

Once a couple have had the “divorce” conversation, It’s very important to get the proper guidance.

My role as a divorce attorney and mediator is to be a supportive ally in a difficult transition. I can pave the path to productive discussions amidst a flurry of very high emotions. I can present all the options and provide answers to many questions.

I suggest the following:

  1. Speak with a divorce attorney/mediator. Find out what your rights are, and what you are entitled to;
  1. Consider mediation - mediation is less stressful, more manageable, amicable, cost effective and less time consuming;
  1. Don’t rehash the past or obsess on having to know “Why”. Divorce is about moving forward with knowledge and dignity. Knowing “why” will not make the process any easier;
  1. Handle your emotions, don’t let them handle you! They will range from anger to wanting revenge. It’s okay to feel all those emotions. Try to focus on what is best for you and your family.
  1. Don’t try to hold on to someone who doesn’t want you! You don’t need to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t want or love you. You deserve much better!
  1. Start pulling together the important information you will need: tax returns, investment statements, W-2’s, property deeds, pension statements and life insurance policies.
  1. Surround yourself with family and friends. This is going to be a challenging process. Consider seeing a therapist, get some advice on how to move through your divorce, and don’t be afraid to ask for help

If your wife has just told you she wants a divorce, call me.I will be happy to speak with you, help you understand what to expect and will also offer to speak with your spouse to explain the many benefits of mediation.Mediation is a family friendly approach to divorce.Remember, divorce doesn’t have to be so painful or divisive.

Having served NYC for over 35 years as a divorce attorney and mediator, I can tell you a divorce with dignity is possible. Mediation can be the civil answer. Call me now to find out all the details!

I know you may be surprised to hear your spouse wants a divorce, but you are not alone, and I’m here to help.

All consultations and mediation sessions areconveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Stay healthy & safe!!

Warm regards,


Call New York Divorce Lawyer, Lois Brenner now to book your free consultation. 212.734.1551