How to Spot the Signs and Mediate Your Way Out
As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator for over 35 years in NYC, I have seen it all from sudden emotional distance to, secret emails and to late night phone calls. I have successfully guided many cheating spouses through amicable divorces. Infidelity is one of the most devastating betrayals in a marriage. If you’re reading this, you may already suspect your spouse is cheating and I’m sorry to say your instincts are probably right.
When cheating is involved, emotions run high. But that doesn’t mean your divorce has to be a public war. My psychologically based mediation process is a powerful, discreet option for spouses who want to avoid the courtroom and protect their emotional well-being.
My Cheating Checklist below will help you recognize the signs, and my psychologically based mediation method will help you exit the relationship discreetly, strategically, and with your dignity intact.
Lois Brenner’s Cheating Checklist:
Common Signs Your Spouse May Be Having an Affair
1. Sudden Emotional Withdrawal
- Less communication, intimacy, or affection.
- Defensive or irritated when asked simple questions.
2. Changes in Appearance
- New clothes, sudden weight loss, or more time at the gym.
- Drastic changes in grooming or personal style.
3. Guarded Technology Use
- Keeps their phone face-down or password protected.
- Deletes texts, uses hidden messaging apps, or takes calls in another room.
4. Frequent “Work Trips” or Late Nights
- Increased time away from home with vague explanations.
- Business trips that don’t align with their typical schedule.
5. Unexplained Expenses
- Hotel charges, luxury purchases, or gifts you didn’t receive.
- New credit cards or hidden accounts.
6. Sexual Behavior Changes
- Either sudden disinterest or new, unexpected behaviors in the bedroom.
7. Gut Instinct
- You just know something is off. Trust yourself — and take action.
So Are You Wondering Why Mediation Works — Even When There’s Infidelity
Keep It Private
Court divorces are public. Mediation is confidential. Protect your reputation and shield your children from unnecessary exposure.
Stay In Control
In mediation, you’re not at the mercy of a judge. You and your spouse can craft your own agreement with a skilled mediator guiding the process.
Reduce Revenge
A cheating spouse may expect revenge. But when you take the high road and approach the divorce calmly and professionally, you reclaim your power.
Save Time and Money
Litigation can be long and expensive. Mediation is often faster and significantly less costly — especially when your spouse is already wasting emotional and financial resources elsewhere.
Use the Truth Strategically
If you have proof of cheating, I will help you use that information strategically to protect your financial settlement, custody rights, or leverage fair agreements.
As a medically trained mediator and attorney, I have deep insight into the emotional and psychological challenges of divorce. I bring calm, strategy, and results to even the most emotionally charged divorces.
So whether your spouse is cheating with a coworker, your best friend or leading a double life, you don’t have to suffer in silence. You can take control, protect your family, and plan your exit with confidence by calling me right now to schedule your free consultation 212.734.1551.
It’s time to get rid of that cheater now! Take the first step today!
I look forward to speaking with you.
Warm regards,
Lois