Divorce papers have just landed in your hands and suddenly your world feels like it’s spinning. Whether you saw it coming or feel completely blindsided, being served with a divorce summons can be one of the most stressful moments of your life.
You need to know what you do next matters.
And before you react, Call me first.
As a seasoned medically trained divorce attorney and mediator with over 35 years of experience, I help clients navigate the emotional and legal storm of divorce with clarity, strategy, and compassion.
If you’ve just been served, here’s what you need to know and why reaching out to me first can make all the difference.
Don’t Panic, Get Informed
The legal documents you’ve received (summons, complaint, etc.) might look intimidating and full of formal language and legal jargon. They’re the beginning of a process. And how you respond sets the tone for everything that follows. If you panic, ignore the documents, or lash out emotionally, you may make decisions that harm your long-term interests personally, financially, and as a parent.
Understand Your Legal Rights and Your Options
Most people think that being served means you have to head straight into battle. That’s simply not true. There are options, litigation and mediation.
What Does Divorce Litigation Look Like?
- A Free Initial Consultation
We begin with a private consultation to review your situation, and your concerns. We’ll discuss whether litigation is right for you and what it would look like in your case.
- Court Appearances: You and your spouse will appear before a judge multiple times over many months (or even years).
- Aggressive Legal Strategy: As your attorney we will file motions, conduct discovery, and challenge opposing counsel in court. This can create more hostility between spouses.
- High Costs: Legal fees in contested divorce cases can skyrocket especially when child custody or finances are heavily disputed.
- Public Record: Everything that happens in court is public, meaning your personal matters become part of the court record.
- Less Control: A judge, not you, decides where your kids live, how your assets are divided, and how much support is paid.
Litigation can feel like a war zone, draining you emotionally and financially. Litigation is sometimes avoidable but when it’s not, you need an attorney who will fight for you and get you and your family the best results!
What Does Divorce Mediation Look Like?
Mediation, especially the kind I offer, looks very different from litigation. It’s private, thoughtful, less expensive and structured for resolution, not confrontation.
Here’s what you can expect in my psychologically informed mediation process:
1. A Free Initial Consultation
We begin with a private consultation to review your situation, and your concerns. We’ll discuss whether mediation is right for you and what it would look like in your case.
2. A Safe, Structured Space (No Courtrooms!)
All sessions are confidential. As your mediator, I guide the conversations so both parties are heard, not attacked.
3. Addressing Emotional Dynamics
Because I’m also a medically trained psychological professional, I don’t just address legal issues. I understand and manage the psychological and emotional dynamics at play. This is especially helpful when one partner is controlling, narcissistic, or emotionally reactive.
4. Step-by-Step Issue Resolution
We work through each issue systematically:
- Division of property and assets
- Spousal support/alimony
- Child custody and parenting schedules
- Child support and expenses
I help both parties understand their options and work toward fair solutions that reflect their needs.
5. Drafting a Comprehensive Agreement
Once agreements are reached, I draft a separation agreement that is ready to be submitted to the court. You don’t have to appear in court, the paperwork can be processed without litigation.
6. A Healthier Path Forward
Mediation preserves your dignity, minimizes emotional damage (especially for children), and helps you move on without destroying your finances or mental health.
So What Are the Legal Steps to Responding to a Divorce Summons in New York?
If you’ve been served in New York, you must act quickly. Here’s what happens next:
1. Review the Documents Carefully
- You may have received a Summons with Notice or a Summons and Verified Complaint.
2. Calculate Your Deadline
- 20 days to respond if served in person in NY.
3. Hire Attorney:
- To review and respond on your behalf
4. Serve a “Notice of Appearance”
- This notifies the court and your spouse that you will participate in the case.
- If you received a Summons with Notice, include a Demand for Complaint.
5. File With the Court
- After serving the Notice of Appearance on your spouse or their attorney, file proof of service with the County Clerk.
6. File an “Answer”
- If you’ve received a full Complaint, you can respond to each point in an Answer and may file counterclaims.
So, have you calmed down? Are you ready to respond to that summons? If you call me first, I promise to save you time, money and heartache.
As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator, I can explain litigation and mediation/negotiation and help you pick the path that will serve you best. Once your attorney responds to the divorce summons, negotiation, not necessarily litigation is still possible.
During your free consultation we can discuss the legal documents you received, explain and help you meet deadlines, and truly guide you to the least damaging path forward.
Take control of your divorce right now and call me to schedule your free consultation. You’ll be in good hands! Call 212.734.1551.
Warm regards,
Lois