In today’s world, pets are beloved family members, not property. Yet when a marriage ends, the question of “Who gets the dog or cat?” often becomes as emotionally charged as child custody.
As a New York divorce attorney, mediator, psychologically trained professional, and dog lover myself, I’ve seen countless couples struggle with the heartbreaking decision of where their furry friend will live after divorce.
This emerging issue, often called “pet custody”, is gaining traction both legally and emotionally.
Pets Are No Longer “Property” in Divorce Courts
Traditionally, pets were considered personal property, like a car or a piece of furniture. But in New York, the law has evolved. Judges now consider the “best interest of the pet” similar to how they evaluate the best interest of a child.
Under New York’s Domestic Relations Law (DRL §236), courts can now take into account:
- Who primarily cares for the pet (feeding, walking, vet visits)
- Who has the stronger emotional bond
- Who can best meet the pet’s daily needs
- The living arrangements post-divorce
In my mediation practice, I help couples avoid courtroom battles over pets by crafting custom “Pet Custody Agreements.” These outline visitation schedules, expense sharing, and even veterinary care responsibilities
For Couples and Families: Pets Are a Lifestyle Factor
For families pets often symbolize stability and emotional continuity. Disputes can involve pet care, exclusive breeds, and travel arrangements, especially if the pet accompanies one spouse between residences.
I often remind clients: litigation can make this issue adversarial and costly. Mediation, however, allows couples to maintain control over this deeply personal decision.
In mediation, we can decide:
- Will the pet live primarily with one spouse or be shared?
- How will expenses like grooming, boarding, or vet care be split?
- What happens if one spouse relocates or remarries?
Mediation provides privacy, empathy, and flexibility, all qualities the courtroom lacks.
Emotional Healing: Pets Help During and After Divorce
Divorce is emotionally draining not just for humans, but for pets, too. Dogs and cats sense tension and disruption. Maintaining consistent routines and affection can reduce anxiety for both you and your pet.
As a medically trained divorce professional, I often encourage clients to see their pets as sources of emotional support during transition. Research shows that bonding with pets can lower stress, ease loneliness, and even reduce blood pressure.
If you’re thinking of divorce, don’t underestimate your pet’s role in your healing journey.
Pet Custody Checklist: What to Discuss in Mediation
Before meeting with me, consider these points:
- Who adopted or purchased the pet?
- Who provides most of the care?
- Who’s financially responsible for food, vet, and grooming?
- How will visitation or shared custody work?
- What’s in the best interest of the pet?
- What happens if one spouse moves out of state or remarries?
Documenting these decisions can prevent conflict later.
Why Mediation Is the Best Option for Pet Custody Disputes
Litigation over pets can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally painful. Mediation, on the other hand:
- Preserves relationships
- Keeps decisions private
- Is faster and more cost-effective
- Focuses on emotional well-being — not just legal ownership
As a medically trained NY divorce attorney, mediator and dog lover, I believe pet custody deserves compassion, not combat.
Let’s face it, pets are family, and family deserves dignity and love. Whether you’re a dog lover, cat enthusiast, or the proud owner of a pampered parrot, remember: you and your pet can both thrive after divorce.
If you’re struggling with the question of who gets the family pet in your divorce, reach out and let’s talk about it. Call now to schedule your free consultation 212.734.1551.
Together, we can create a fair, loving solution that honors both your emotional and legal needs.
I look forward to speaking with you about divorce and the custody of your beloved pet
Warm regards,
Lois