The holidays are right around the corner. The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy, family, and togetherness, but if you’re thinking of going through a divorce, they can feel anything but merry. The pressure to keep traditions alive, navigate child custody schedules, and manage emotional tension can be overwhelming.
But here’s the good news: divorce doesn’t have to destroy the holidays. With the right guidance and approach, it can actually be a time to rediscover peace, stability, and even hope for a new beginning.
As a divorce attorney, mediator, and psychologically trained medical professional, I’ve helped countless couples turn emotionally charged holiday conflicts into calm, productive conversations using my unique, psychologically based mediation process.
Why Divorce Feels Harder During the Holidays
Even couples who have been somewhat amicable discussing divorce often find emotions heighten in November and December. The holidays amplify:
- Family pressure to “keep things normal.”
- Financial strain from gifts, travel, and events.
- Custody challenges when both parents want holiday time with the kids.
- Grief and nostalgia for traditions that once felt secure.
These emotional triggers can cause unnecessary conflict, but they don’t have to.
How Mediation Can Make the Holidays Easier
Unlike litigation, where lawyers battle in court, mediation is a private, collaborative process that helps couples make decisions peacefully.
Here’s how my unique mediation process can help you maintain civility during the holidays:
Keeps Communication Open
As a highly skilled mediator with medical training, I guide the conversation, helping both partners express needs and concerns respectfully. This keeps emotions in check and prevents holiday arguments from escalating.
- Puts Children First
My mediation method encourages parents to create flexible, child-centered holiday schedules that reduce stress and protect children’s emotional well-being. - Saves Time and Money
Avoiding litigation means you’re not spending thousands of dollars or months in court, freeing up both time and funds for your family and future. - Promotes Emotional Healing
My psychologically centered mediation approach addresses the emotional roots of conflict, helping couples understand one another’s triggers and find closure. - Encourages New Traditions
Through open discussion, couples can design new holiday routines that work for everyone, helping both parents and children adjust with dignity and care.
My background in both law and psychology allows me to help clients navigate the emotional as well as legal complexities of divorce. During mediation sessions, I use psychological insight to defuse anger, clarify intentions, and promote understanding.
Whether we’re discussing holiday visitation, division of assets, budgets, or family gatherings, I focus on helping each person feel heard because when emotions are managed, solutions come more naturally.
Practical Tips for Handling Divorce During the Holidays
Here are some strategies to help you stay centered and calm this season:
- Set realistic expectations. The holidays won’t be perfect, and that’s okay. Focus on peace, not perfection.
- Create new traditions. Try volunteering, hosting a smaller gathering, or spending time with close friends instead of recreating the past.
- Communicate early. Discuss plans and parenting schedules well before the holidays to avoid last-minute tension.
- Take care of yourself. Rest, eat well, exercise, and lean on supportive friends or a therapist. We have some wonderful therapist on our team that can help you.
- Don’t overspend. Financial stress fuels conflict. Set a budget that honors your new reality.
- Consider mediation. If disputes arise, seek a calm, guided setting rather than letting the season unravel in court. Call us and schedule a free consultation.
For over 35 yeas, as a seasoned and medically trained NY divorce attorney and mediator, I have helped thousands navigate divorce during the holidays. Divorce can change many things, but it doesn’t have to take away your peace or the meaning of the holidays. With compassion, structure, and the right professional, like me and my really gifted support team, you can get through this season with dignity and emotional stability.
If you’re struggling with how to start your divorce process during the holidays, mediation can help you move forward calmly, quickly and less expensively.
If you’re ready to keep your holidays civil and your divorce out of court, call me now to schedule your free consultation 212.734.1551.
I look forward to helping you and your family this holiday season.
Warm regards,
Lois
Let’s make this holiday season one of healing, not hostility.