When significant wealth is involved in a divorce, it becomes a complex, and a high-stakes process. In many high-net-worth divorces, one spouse may attempt to hide or manipulate assets to gain financial advantage This behavior is especially common when divorcing a narcissistic or controlling partner, who views money as power and deception as a weapon.
As a New York divorce attorney, mediator, and medically trained psychological professional, I’ve seen countless cases where hidden assets are uncovered, often dramatically changing the outcome of a divorce settlement. If you suspect financial misconduct in your marriage, it’s essential to understand the signs and know how to find what’s being concealed.
Why Hidden Assets Are So Common in High-Net-Worth Divorces
In my experience, when millions of dollars are on the line, temptation can lead to unethical and even illegal behavior. Wealthy spouses often have access to complex financial structures such as:
- Multiple businesses or LLCs
- Offshore accounts and trusts
- Stock options and deferred compensation packages
- Art collections, jewelry, and other luxury assets
- Cryptocurrencies and digital wallets
A narcissistic spouse, in particular, may feel entitled to the wealth or believe they can “outsmart” their spouse and the system. Their mindset often involves control, secrecy, and manipulation, making it even harder for the other spouse to get a fair financial picture.
Signs Your Spouse May Be Hiding Assets
During divorce, look for red flags that may indicate hidden assets or financial misconduct:
- Sudden changes in income reporting — bonuses, commissions, or dividends mysteriously disappear.
- Claims of “business losses” or declining company performance without evidence.
- Large or unexplained withdrawals from joint accounts.
- Overpayment of taxes or debts to reclaim money later after the divorce.
- Transferred assets to relatives, friends, or new business entities.
- Cryptocurrency or offshore transactions that aren’t disclosed.
As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator, I have seen a narcissistic spouse often gaslight their spouse during this stage, claiming “they are imagining things” or accusing them of being controlling. I tell clients to trust their instincts and bring these concerns to my attention so we can initiate a complex financial discovery often bringing in my stealth financial team and forensic accountants.
The Role of the Forensic Accountant
In high-net-worth cases, uncovering hidden assets requires the expertise of a forensic accountant, a financial detective who specializes in tracing money trails.
A forensic accountant can:
- Analyze bank records, tax returns, and business financials for inconsistencies.
- Track offshore transfers, hidden investments, and secret accounts.
- Identify unreported income or undervalued assets.
- Work alongside your divorce attorney to ensure complete financial transparency.
With the right legal and financial team, including a divorce lawyer experienced in financial misconduct and narcissistic personality dynamics, like myself, hidden assets can be located, valued, and brought to light.
How Narcissism Complicates Financial Discovery
A narcissistic spouse often views money as control. They may:
- Use financial manipulation to punish or intimidate.
- Delay document production or refuse to disclose financial records.
- Lie or distort reality to appear innocent.
- Attempt to use litigation as a form of revenge.
In my practice, I use both legal strategy and psychological insight to manage these behaviors. A strategic mix of firm legal boundaries, mediation when possible, and thorough documentation helps neutralize manipulation and keep the process efficient and focused.
How Mediation Can Help Uncover the Truth
While litigation may be necessary in extreme cases, divorce mediation can sometimes uncover the truth in a more cooperative, yet still strategic environment.
As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator, I often guide spouses through structured financial disclosure, where both parties are required to provide full transparency. This setting can:
- Reduce legal costs dramatically.
- Encourage honesty through accountability.
- Prevent courtroom battles that drain time, money, and emotion.
Using my unique divorce mediation process for narcissistic or secretive spouses often brings their tactics to light without escalating hostility.
If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets I strongly suggest:
- Don’t confront them directly, they may move assets further out of reach.
- Collect documentation discreetly like tax returns, account statements, business records.
- Consult a qualified high-net-worth divorce attorney, one familiar with financial forensics and personality-driven conflict.
- Consider mediation with psychological insight to maintain control and preserve your emotional and financial well-being.
Remember: uncovering hidden assets isn’t just about money, it’s about fairness, truth, and empowerment.
Divorcing a narcissist in a high-net-worth marriage is one of the most challenging journeys you can face. But with the right team, an experienced divorce attorney, who is also a psychologically savvy mediator, financial consultants and forensic accountants, you can protect your future and uncover every dollar that’s rightfully yours.
If you believe your spouse may be hiding assets or engaging in financial misconduct, call me to schedule your free consultation right now 212.734.1551. My unique combination of legal and psychological expertise can help you navigate even the most complex, high-conflict divorces with clarity and confidence.
I look forward to working with you.
Warm regard,
Lois