Divorce is not just the end of a marriage, it’s the beginning of a new chapter. But in New York, where financial portfolios are complex, lifestyles are demanding, and the law can feel overwhelming, filing for divorce can be a daunting process. For many professionals, executives, and high-net-worth individuals, divorce isn’t only about signing paperwork; it’s about protecting assets, children, reputation, and peace of mind.
As a medically trained divorce attorney, mediator, and court-appointed expert with over 35 years of experience guiding New Yorkers through high-conflict and high-asset divorces, I have seen it all! My clients include business owners, physicians, attorneys, entertainers, and families with sophisticated financial holdings. I combine deep legal knowledge with psychological insight to provide both strategy and compassion, because divorce requires both.
My comprehensive guide will walk you through everything you need to know about filing for divorce in New York, including the steps, timelines, legal requirements, and the unique considerations upscale clients often face.
Understanding Divorce in New York
Divorce in New York is governed by specific laws that determine who can file, how property is divided, and how issues like custody and support are resolved.
Residency Requirements
To file for divorce in New York, you must meet certain residency rules, such as:
- Either spouse has lived in New York for at least two years, Or
- Either spouse has lived in New York for at least one year and the couple was married in New York, lived as a married couple in New York, or the grounds for divorce occurred in New York.
Grounds for Divorce
New York offers both fault-based and no-fault divorce. The most common choice today is “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage for at least six months.” Fault-based grounds, such as adultery or cruel treatment, still exist but are used less frequently.
Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce
- Uncontested divorce: Both spouses agree on all major issues (property, custody, support). This process is faster, more private, and can be resolved through mediation.
- Contested divorce: Disputes must be resolved by the court. These cases can take months, or even years, depending on complexity.
My Step-by-Step Guide to Filing for Divorce in New York:
Step 1: Consult With An Experienced Divorce Attorney or Mediator
The first and most critical step is choosing your guide. Divorce is not just legal, it’s financial, psychological, and deeply personal. High-asset cases require careful planning to protect businesses, investments, and long-term wealth.
I always begin with a free, confidential consultation to evaluate your circumstances and design a tailored strategy. Upscale clients often need to consider asset tracing, tax planning, or prenuptial/postnuptial agreements that may come into play.
Step 2: Filing the Initial Paperwork
Divorce is initiated by filing either a Summons with Notice or a Summons and Complaint in the New York Supreme Court. This document outlines your intention to divorce and, in the case of a complaint, the specific grounds.
Proper service to your spouse is required, and proof of service must be filed with the court. Mistakes here can delay the process.
Step 3: Financial Disclosure
Both spouses must provide a Statement of Net Worth, which is a sworn document detailing income, assets, debts, and expenses. For high-net-worth clients, this step often involves:
- Valuing businesses, professional practices, and partnerships
- Appraising real estate holdings in multiple states or countries
- Reviewing investment portfolios and retirement accounts
- Examining tax returns, trusts, and inheritances
Transparency is required by law—but strategy is essential to protect what matters most.
Step 4: Negotiation, Mediation, or Litigation
This is where most of the work happens. There are several paths:
- Mediation: As a mediator, I guide couples toward fair agreements in a private, cooperative setting. Mediation is especially valuable for clients who want discretion and efficiency.
- Negotiation: Attorneys work to settle disputes before stepping into a courtroom.
- Litigation: When agreements can’t be reached, the case proceeds to trial. Judges then decide custody, property division, and support.
Step 5: Judgment of Divorce
Once all issues are resolved, the judge signs a Judgment of Divorce, which officially ends the marriage.
Key Issues in a New York Divorce
Property Division
New York follows the principle of equitable distribution property is divided fairly, though not necessarily equally. For wealthy couples, property division may include:
- Multiple residences or investment properties
- International real estate holdings
- Business ownership or professional practices
- Stock options, bonuses, and executive compensation packages
I work with financial experts to ensure all assets are identified, valued, and protected. Some of my financial experts offer free consultations as part of our very well rounded process.
Spousal Support (Maintenance)
Spousal support is determined based on income, lifestyle during the marriage, and future earning potential. Courts aim to prevent one spouse from experiencing financial hardship while the other thrives. In high-income cases, formulas may not apply directly, requiring skilled negotiation.
Child Custody & Support
Custody decisions are based on the best interests of the child, not the preferences of either parent. In upscale families, disputes often arise around:
- Private school tuition
- Extracurricular activities
- Travel schedules
- Custody across multiple residences
Child support is calculated under state guidelines, but high-income families often require tailored agreements.
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Filing for Divorce
- Hiding Assets: Courts take financial disclosure seriously. Attempting to conceal wealth can backfire.
- Using Divorce as Retaliation: Emotional decisions can lead to costly, unnecessary litigation.
- Choosing the Wrong Attorney: Not every lawyer understands the nuances of high-asset divorce. You need an advocate who can balance discretion with strong representation.
- Overlooking Tax Consequences: Property transfers, support payments, and asset divisions can trigger unexpected tax liabilities.
- Failing to Consider Mediation: Litigation can be public, lengthy, and expensive. Mediation offers a dignified alternative.
Here Are Some Recent Cases We Handled:
- The Business Owner: A Manhattan entrepreneur needed to protect his company during divorce. Through careful valuation and negotiation, we structured a settlement that preserved his business while providing fair support to his spouse.
- The Executive Couple: Two high-earning professionals with significant real estate holdings resolved their divorce through mediation in just four months, avoiding a costly trial.
- The International Family: A family with properties in Europe faced complex asset division. By working with global valuation experts, we achieved a balanced and enforceable settlement.
Divorce Mediation vs. Litigation in New York
Mediation | Litigation |
Private and confidential | Public record |
Typically faster and less costly | Can take months or years |
Preserves family relationships | Often adversarial |
Both spouses shape the outcome | Judge makes the final decision |
Ideal for upscale clients seeking discretion | Necessary when disputes are irreconcilable |
As both a divorce attorney and mediator, I offer clients the best of both worlds, the option to resolve matters amicably, or the strength to litigate when needed. My team is highly experienced in all areas and we work hard to find the right path and to successfully get clients the best results!
Here are Some Frequently Asked Questions I Receive:
How long does a divorce take in New York?
Uncontested divorces may take 6-9 months. Contested divorces can take a year or longer, depending on complexity.
Can I protect my business in a divorce?
Yes. With proper valuation and legal strategy, businesses can often be preserved while reaching a fair settlement.
Do prenuptial agreements matter in New York divorces?
Absolutely. Courts typically enforce prenuptial agreements if they were executed fairly.
Is mediation legally binding?
Yes. Once agreements are reached in mediation and incorporated into a settlement, they are binding and enforceable by the court.
I hope you have found all this information helpful! If you are thinking of filing for divorce in New York, call me!
Divorce is one of the most personal, and consequential events of your life. For New Yorkers with sophisticated financial portfolios, reputations to protect, and families to safeguard, choosing the right attorney/mediator makes all the difference.
I have over 35+ years of experience as a medically and psychologically trained divorce attorney and mediator. I have a rare skill set that helps me understand conflict at its core. My highly skilled team and I have high-asset expertise that covers businesses and trusts to international assets.
It’s important to remember filing for divorce in New York is not just about legal paperwork. It’s about designing a strategy that preserves your wealth, safeguards your children, and allows you to move forward with confidence. Whether through mediation or litigation, my role is to guide you with clarity, compassion, and skill.
If you are considering divorce in New York, I invite you to schedule a free and confidential consultation with me today. Call 212.734.1551 right now!
Together, we can create a plan that protects what matters most and positions you for the next chapter of your life.
We look forward to getting you successfully to the next step!
Warm regards,
Lois