The Psychology of Divorce | Chapter One
I have a excerpt from Chapter One of my upcoming book The Psychology of Divorce.
The Role of Psychology in Divorce The chapter argues that psychology significantly impacts human behavior and affects both the process and outcome of a divorce. While many believe divorce laws solely determine results, the personality traits and actions of the spouses are major contributing factors. There are three ways to end a marriage: litigation, negotiation, or mediation, and the participants' mindset plays a crucial role in each.
Case Studies: The chapter utilizes several case studies to illustrate how understanding personality traits can alter divorce strategies and outcomes:
- Andrea: After discovering her husband's infidelity, Andrea initially reacted with anger by draining their joint savings of $260,000 and refusing her husband access to their children. This behavior would typically lead to a costly legal battle involving lawyers seeking the return of assets and custody rights . However, by consulting a professional and shifting her approach to mediation and therapy, Andrea avoided a self-destructive, adversarial process.
- Karen and Steve: Steve, an accountant, had been secretly spending family funds on online affairs with men for years. When Karen discovered this, Steve denied it, exhibiting narcissistic and sociopathic traits. While a court battle would have taken years and cost $150,000, the use of mediation allowed them to reach an agreement in four months at one-tenth of the cost . The process addressed Karen's dependent personality and reassured Steve regarding his new lifestyle.
- Lisa and Mark: Mark, a wealthy doctor and computer expert, was financially controlling and recording Lisa's conversations to gaslight her. Recognizing Mark's traits of narcissism, paranoia, and sociopathy, the advice was to hire a private investigator and forensic accountant rather than confronting him immediately, which would have given him leverage.
I hope these materials help you understand a little bit more about how important it is to strategize with your attorney to get the very best outcome from your divorce.
As a medically/psychologically trained divorce attorney and mediator, I offer a free, confidential consultation for spouses considering divorce from a high-conflict or character-disordered partner. Together, we can discuss whether a medically informed mediation approach is right for your situation and how to protect what matters most.
Call now to schedule your free consultation 212.734.1551.
I look forward to helping you and your family.
Warmly
Lois