Today, research consistently shows that women initiate approximately 65–70% of divorces in the United States. It is most often the result of years of emotional labor, unmet needs, and deep dissatisfaction that has gone unaddressed for far too long.
As a medically trained New York divorce attorney and mediator, I work with women every day who reach their decision to divorce only after exhausting every other option.
Why Are More Women Initiating Divorce?
1. The Invisible Weight of Emotional Labor
In many marriages, women continue to shoulder the majority of emotional responsibility, managing communication, caregiving, household coordination, relationship repair, and careers. Over time, this imbalance creates exhaustion and resentment.
Many of the women I work with say the same thing:
“I kept trying. I kept asking. I kept holding everything together.”
Eventually, that burden becomes unsustainable.
2. Cultural Shifts and Greater Awareness
Modern women are more informed, more financially aware and accomplished, and more willing to question unhealthy dynamics than previous generations. Cultural expectations have shifted too! Staying in a chronically unhappy or emotionally unsafe marriage is no longer seen as a virtue.
Women today recognize that marriage should support health and well-being, not undermine it.
3. Long-Term Dissatisfaction, Not Sudden Decisions
Despite the stereotype of the “sudden divorce,” most women who initiate divorce have spent time trying to repair the relationship, whether through counseling, communication, compromise, or self-sacrifice.
By the time legal action begins, the emotional decision was often made long ago.
4. Emotional and Physical Health Consequences
Chronic marital stress has real medical consequences: anxiety, sleep disruption, autoimmune flares, depression, and cardiovascular strain. As someone trained in medicine, I see clearly how prolonged emotional stress manifests physically.
For many women, initiating divorce is not about ending a marriage, it is about preserving their health.
Why Filing First Doesn’t Mean Wanting a Fight
Initiating divorce does not mean wanting conflict. In fact, most women I work with want the opposite:
- Less chaos
- Less trauma
- Less damage to children and finances
- More clarity, dignity, and control
This is why my divorce mediation method is often a better path, especially for women emerging from high-conflict, emotionally draining marriages.
As a medically trained New York divorce attorney and mediator, my approach is different by design.
I integrate:
- Legal strategy
- Psychological insight
- Medical awareness of stress and trauma
Mediation allows women to:
- Avoid the emotional harm of litigation
- Reduce legal costs
- Maintain privacy
- Protect their physical and mental health
- Make thoughtful, informed decisions rather than reactive ones
For women who have spent years feeling unheard or dismissed, mediation offers something profoundly important: support and strength
As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator, women tell me they initiate divorce more often today not because they are weaker, but because they are clearer.
They know what they need, and can see what is no longer working. They also know what they want which is peace and stability.
If you are ready to take your first step forward toward to divorce, I’m here to take it with you.
Divorce does not have to be destructive. With the right guidance, it can be a legally managed, and psychologically focused.
Call now to schedule your free and confidential consultation 212.734.1551.
I look forward to helping you take your first step.
Warmly,
Lois