I often tell my clients going through a divorce, the only predictability
in life is change. We all dread and reluctantly develop coping mechanisms
for managing the inevitable change that is part of being human. In order
to make good use of the curve balls life throws at us, it’s best
if we can do more than just cope. We have to embrace changes, prepare
for them when we can, and face them head on when we get hit from behind.
A new beginning can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Choosing change
can be empowering!
A new start for some of us might be starting a second career, getting married
for the first time at an older age, buying an amazing new piece of technology
or gaining a new degree, as I did when I became a physician assistant.
For others change might be fixing a bad habit, leaving a miserable marriage
after many years, or deciding to end an unhealthy codependent relationship.
While new beginnings can be exhilarating, they can also force us to learn
new skills and stretch outside of our comfort zone.
As is the case with some of my divorce clients, change can be beyond your
control. This really requires strength and resilience. This type of change
is often harder to handle emotionally because you are not in control.
Someone, or something else has created change in your life. This might
happen due to a divorce, disaster, illness or death. This kind of change
stirs up all kinds of feelings. This type of starting over is unexpected,
Big life transitions like these are powerful times in our lives. We are
invited to release what is outworn in our lives and allow space for new
life to flow in. It’s hard to imagine a new chapter of your life
is starting in the midst of such pain and confusion. But every ending
is a new beginning. Change is an invitation to recreate our lives, and
ourselves. It is often a time to flourish in ways you might never have
considered. It can be an unexpected opportunity and a blessing.
Don’t sidestep change. Remember, starting over requires confidence,
courage and the determination to be better!