TO TRICK OR TREAT?
What divorcing/divorced parents can do so Halloween isn’t a nightmare!
When you got divorced did you discuss Halloween as part of your visitation
schedule? Probably not. After all it’s not Thanksgiving, Christmas
or Hannukkah! But it is probably a very important holiday to your children.
In my experience as a divorce attorney for over 35 years, I can tell you,
how you handle Halloween will make all the difference to your little ghosts
and goblins. During our family mediation sessions, we flesh out all the
important details of your visitation schedule. Your children will be happy
to know we always remember to include Halloween!
I have suggestions on how divorcing/divorced couples can handle this scary
holiday so it’s a treat, and not a trick:
- Ask yourself, what do your children want;
- Which parent is going to help in creating or purchasing the halloween costume;
- Children usually want to be with friends in their neighborhood and so which
parent is going to go trick-or-treating with the children.
Mom? Dad? Both?
- If you decorate your home or lawn which parent will help?
- Plan in advance-have a strategy;
- Try to maintain Halloween family traditions if at all possible;
- Speak with your spouse. Arrive at an agreement and then enthusiastically
share the Halloween plans with your children;
Present a happy, united front.
- Share the holiday if you can’t tolerate spending it together. While
you’re working on the home decorating and baking pumpkin cookies
have your spouse tackle the face painting and costume preparation. Share
trick-or-treating time. You trick-or-treat with your children for half
the time, and your spouse handles the other half. (Don’t forget
to dress up yourself. That’s always fun.)
- In your separation agreement you can also stipulate you want to alternate
Halloween visitation. One year mom takes Halloween, the next year dad
takes Halloween and so on.
This holiday, in particular, is really important to children. It’s
best to put your anger aside and try to make decisions in the best interest
of your children.
If you are wrestling with your visitation schedule, call me.
As part of my successful family mediation process, I can help you work
out all the important visitation details. 212.734.1551
Have a Spooktacular Halloween!