Do you lie awake at night and wonder? Do you have a feeling in the pit
of your stomach most of the time? You know something is not quite right,
but you can’t put your finger on it. Do you think your spouse is
cheating? Are you afraid to ask? Do you think you need proof? I say, pay
attention to those little voices and your spouse’s phone or emails.
Your instinct could be right!
In my divorce/mediation practice of over 35 years, I have seen cheating
spouses more than I’d like to admit. Inevitably, a cheating spouse
wounds not only their spouse, but an entire family.
Don’t bury your head in the sand, if the signs are there, take notice.
You’re probably right. Don’t ignore your suspicions.
Here are some telltale signs your spouse may be cheating. You feel…
If you find yourself experiencing some of these things, you are also coming
up with excuses for this behavior. That’s being human. It’s
hard to admit to oneself that your partner may be dishonest with you.
I find intuition is often one of the best indicators that something is
wrong. Further investigation is probably necessary. Once you have reviewed
all the behavior changes and collected some data, think about doing some
investigative work by hiring a professional to look further. Be calm,
strong and honest. Be prepared for any outcome. Remember, if they are
cheating, also be prepared for lies!
- Rejected sexually;
- Feelings are ignored;
- Spouse is spending less time with you and the children;
- Spouse is working more;
- Spouse no longer does things with you as a couple;
- Spouse needs more privacy;
- Spouse is spending a lot more time on the computer;
- Spouse is always changing and hiding computer passwords;
- Spouse is being financially irresponsible or frivolous;
- Spouse is hiding credit card statements, cell phone, personal information etc.
For some, saving a marriage is possible. Although trust has been broken
and betrayal is painful, some marriages can survive. From what I have
seen when a marriage does survive it is because the couple has a strong
foundation based in friendship and love. I applaud these couples for their
strength to recover. For others, clearly the marriage is over. Now you
have to start the painful journey of divorce. Or at least that is what
most couples think based upon the traditional view of divorce. But divorce
doesn’t always have to be down and dirty. Divorce can be dignified.
I encourage couples to consider a divorce that is less painful, more rational,
not anger driven and is supportive of the overall well-being of the family.
If you are moving towards divorce due to infidelity, I can help you navigate
the process with strong psychological support and fair, strategic legal
planning to keep your life intact and to help get you and your family
get the best possible results. 212.734.1551.