When a young woman called me and said, “Social Media Killed My Marriage,” I told her I wasn’t surprised. More and more this is a chief complaint and cause for divorce. Couples don’t realize social media networking opportunities can be the kiss of death. During the holidays reconnecting with old “friends,” “former loves,” and the opportunity to meet “new” people with a swipe to the right on a cell phone is lending to the destruction of the already delicate journey of love and marriage.
Once I calmed my new client down, I further explained. The good news was that social media websites and digital communications also provide a treasure trove of information (evidence) for constructive use in the divorce process.
Think about it. There’s Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, phone calls, GPS, emails, texts, dating sites, social media sites and lots of internet search histories.
If you suspect social media and digital communications are wrecking your marriage, don’t forget to keep your eye on the following: (this information may prove to be valuable in possibly saving your marriage (for those who wish to) and/or contributing to your mediation/divorce negotiations.)
- Cell Phones: look at the phone bills – is there a phone number constantly called that is unknown to you? Phone calls can be tracked and printed out;
- Texts: lots of correspondence takes place by text. More and more marriages are ending because of texting. In reviewing texts, you have access to threads of conversations. Texts often reveal spontaneous feelings and correspondence. Texts are a valuable and insightful history of conversations; reading them can provide a lot of information;
- Computers and emails: you can look at emails and internet search histories. There are also cookies on your computer which show all emails whether deleted or not; In addition, internet servers also have all erased and deleted emails;
- Social Media Sites – Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat – open conversations/pictures of spouses spending time with other people (who are not their spouse). What looks like innocent conversation, when looked at closely can reveal the development of a relationship that is more than just “friends;”
- Dating Sites – eHarmony, Match, JDate provide profiles and some clients have found their spouse on these sites claiming to be single! It happens more than most of us would like to believe.
If you find your marriage being swallowed up by all the trappings of social media and digital communications, I can help.
With over 35 years’ experience helping couples navigate the divorce maze, I can guide you on constructively approaching your divorce. Even if you are angry, there are ways to get sound results without losing your mind. I will put you in the driver’s seat! Call me to find out how – 212.734.1551.
Best,
Lois