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Are You Living with a Controlling Spouse?


My new client seemed very anxious and started twirling her hair around her finger. She started by telling me that she was very concerned because her husband kept separate bank accounts and he was cutting down on the “spending” money he gave her each week as an “allowance.”

It turned out he paid all the bills and had given her $100 a week, and he was now reducing that to $50 a week. Although they filed joint tax returns, he wouldn’t let her see what he earned as an investment banker. He had told her to quit her job six months ago. She was reluctant to do that.

I realized what was really going on here – we had a controlling husband and a dependent spouse. He would be at a great advantage in typical divorce proceedings, and she would need a lawyer who was aware of the dynamics and know how to work around them.

Here are seven signs you have a controlling spouse:

  1. You don’t share financial information including income
  2. You have separate bank accounts and savings
  3. You are encouraged to stop working
  4. You are discouraged from seeing your friends and family
  5. You are the object of disparaging and threatening comments
  6. You are ordered around
  7. You are blamed for everything

If you are in a marriage that feels similar to this, I can help you.

My combination of legal and medical training is unusual and useful when it comes to helping with divorce. Understanding and proper guidance is important for a successful outcome. I have the unique ability to provide a compassionate and productive process to see you through your divorce.

Call me if you have any questions or if you would like more information about this topic. 212.734.1551

Best wishes,