Shortly after U.S lockdowns began due to the pandemic, cheating in marriages
started to increase with the help of technology and it has continued to soar!
Modern technology and social media allow you to meet people quickly and
in some ways quietly. Some say emotional affairs are not cheating. However,
there is a fine line between friendship and an emotional affair. Emotional
affairs usually develop from friendships. Although these types of affairs
don’t include sex, they can be as harmful to marriage as a physical affair.
So whether you suspect your spouse is having sex with others or secretly
communicating with others, an affair indicates an underlying problem in
Do you lie awake at night and wonder? Do you have a feeling in the pit
in your stomach most of the time? You know something is not quite right,
but you can’t put your finger on it.
Do you think your spouse is cheating? Are you afraid to ask? Do you think
you need proof? Is your spouse engaging in daily chats with their so-called
“friend”, that just doesn’t feel quite right? I say,
pay attention to those little voices. Your instinct could be right!
In my divorce/mediation practice of over 35 years, I have seen cheating
spouses more than I’d like to admit. These days more and more spouses
are calling about a cheating spouse and how the pandemic has ruined their life!
Inevitably, a cheating spouse wounds not only their spouse but an entire family.
Don’t bury your head in the sand, if the signs are there, take notice.
Don’t ignore your suspicions.
Do you feel…
- Rejected sexually;
- Your feelings are ignored;
- Your spouse is spending less time with you and the children;
- Your spouse is working more;
- Your spouse no longer does things with you as a couple
- Your spouse needs more privacy;
- Your spouse is spending a lot more time on the computer;
- Your spouse is always changing and hiding computer passwords;
- Your spouse is being financially irresponsible or frivolous;
- Your spouse is hiding credit card statements, cell phone, and personal
If you find yourself experiencing some of these things, you are also coming
up with excuses for this behavior. That’s being human. It’s
hard to admit to oneself that your loved one may be dishonest with you.
I find intuition is often one of the best indicators that something is wrong.
Further investigation is probably necessary. Once you have reviewed all
the behavior changes and collected some data, think about approaching
your spouse or do some investigative work by hiring a professional. Be
calm, strong, and honest. Be prepared for any outcome. Remember, if they
are cheating, also be prepared for lies!
For some, saving a marriage is possible. Although trust has been broken
and betrayal is painful, some marriages can survive. From what I have
seen when a marriage does survive it is because the couple has a strong
foundation based on friendship and love. I applaud these couples for their
strength to recover.
For others, the marriage is clearly over. Now you have to start the painful
journey of divorce. Or at least that is what most couples think based
upon the traditional view of divorce. But divorce doesn’t always
have to be down and dirty. Divorce can be dignified. I encourage couples
to consider a divorce that is less painful, more rational, not anger-driven,
and is supportive of the overall well-being of the family.
If you are moving towards divorce due to infidelity, as a skilled divorce
attorney and mediator, I can help you navigate the divorce process with
strong psychological support and strategic legal planning. I will help
you to keep your life intact and get you and your family the best possible results.
All our highly informative 1 Hour Consultations are FREE!
All consultations and mediation sessions are
conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to speaking with you.
Continue to stay healthy and safe!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer, Lois Brenner now to schedule your free consultation.