As a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator, I hear all kinds of diverse divorce stories. I have decided to share some of these stories monthly with you.
Naturally, I will change the names and some of the details to protect my clients. The purpose of sharing
these divorce stories with you are to let you know you are not alone. There are peaceful, rational solutions available to you. You really can have be a happily-ever-after.
Joyti and Ahmed were married for 6 years. They had a 3-year-old daughter. They were both professionals. He was an IT specialist, she an ENT (ear, nose, throat) doctor. They lived in in a large home in Oyster Bay, Long Island. When I received a phone call from Ahmed over Memorial Day weekend, he was sad and confused. He left a voice message saying he was shocked that his wife left with their 3 year old son and went to stay with her parents. He feared she was going to hire an attorney and serve him with divorce papers.
During our phone consultation later that day, he told me that their marriage had been arranged which was still traditional in their culture. His wife’s parents had been meddling in their marriage from the beginning. They felt he was not truly good enough for their daughter since he was not earning the level of salary that his wife was as an ENT. They constantly poked at him and were now convincing her to leave him.
He was broken hearted and told me he was working really hard to increase his work and salary as an IT specialist. He mentioned he was also thinking of starting his own IT business and his wife had considered helping him financially with an investment.
Her parents were against this too!
I suggested I try to have a mediation session with his wife to see if this marriage could be saved with a postnuptial agreement. We reached out to his wife by email and she agreed to speak with me. When I spoke with her, her parents were also part of the conference call. They shared with me the issue with Ahmed was far more than his lack of earnings, it was also about his verbal abuse. He was constantly hurting their daughter with his verbal assaults and repeated accusations of infidelity. They were convinced this marriage needed to end but they all agreed they would consider mediation so the process could be amicable. Going to court was not their first option to end the marriage.
When I spoke with Ahmed and shared with him my discussion with Joyti and her family, he did not deny he had been angry and maybe abusive. He mostly blamed her and took little responsibility. I told him that saving the marriage was not an option, even though I had discussed with Joyti and her parents their staying married and using a postnuptial agreement as a tool to keep the marriage on track if Joyti wanted to give the marriage a chance. They insisted the abuse would not end and agreed to consider mediation. I then further explained my mediation process to Ahmed, how it worked and coordinated their first mediation session.
Joyti and Ahmed had a few difficult and tearful conversations during our mediation sessions but eventually, with my help, they were able to agree on child support, custody, visitation, and division of property. Ahmed also took advantage of a consultation with one of the psychologists on my divorce team to address his deep anger issues.
Their mediation has concluded now and they have embraced their lives separately. Ahmed has continued working with the psychologist and is getting a handle on his anger issues. Ahmed and Joyti are also working better together to make important decisions for their daughter.
If this sounds like you, please know that discussion, compassion, negotiation, and solid legal guidance can solve your divorce problems. The comprehensive focus of my psychologically-based divorce mediation process can really help.
If you would like to share your story with me, call me. I will give you common sense answers to all your divorce questions. I will help you, as I did with Ahmed and his family, to find a silver lining, using my powerful divorce mediation method.
All our FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.
I look forward to hearing your story and helping you find the best possible solution.
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to schedule your Free Consultation. 212.734.1551