As a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator, I hear all
kinds of diverse divorce stories. I have decided to share some of these
stories monthly with you.
Naturally, I will change the names and some of the details to protect my
clients. The purpose of sharing
these divorce stories with you are to let you know you are not alone. There
are peaceful, rational solutions available to you.
You really can have be a happily-ever-after.
Joyti and Ahmed were married for 6 years. They had a 3-year-old daughter.
They were both professionals. He was an IT specialist, she an ENT (ear,
nose, throat) doctor. They lived in in a large home in Oyster Bay, Long
Island. When I received a phone call from Ahmed over Memorial Day weekend,
he was sad and confused. He left a voice message saying he was shocked
that his wife left with their 3 year old son and went to stay with her
parents. He feared she was going to hire an attorney and serve him with
divorce papers.
During our phone consultation later that day, he told me that their marriage
had been arranged which was still traditional in their culture. His wife’s
parents had been meddling in their marriage from the beginning. They felt
he was not truly good enough for their daughter since he was not earning
the level of salary that his wife was as an ENT. They constantly poked
at him and were now convincing her to leave him.
He was broken hearted and told me he was working really hard to increase
his work and salary as an IT specialist. He mentioned he was also thinking
of starting his own IT business and his wife had considered helping him
financially with an investment.
Her parents were against this too!
I suggested I try to have a mediation session with his wife to see if this
marriage could be saved with a postnuptial agreement. We reached out to
his wife by email and she agreed to speak with me. When I spoke with her,
her parents were also part of the conference call. They shared with me
the issue with Ahmed was far more than his lack of earnings, it was also
about his verbal abuse. He was constantly hurting their daughter with
his verbal assaults and repeated accusations of infidelity. They were
convinced this marriage needed to end but they all agreed they would consider
mediation so the process could be amicable. Going to court was not their
first option to end the marriage.
When I spoke with Ahmed and shared with him my discussion with Joyti and
her family, he did not deny he had been angry and maybe abusive. He mostly
blamed her and took little responsibility. I told him that saving the
marriage was not an option, even though I had discussed with Joyti and
her parents their staying married and using a postnuptial agreement as
a tool to keep the marriage on track if Joyti wanted to give the marriage
a chance. They insisted the abuse would not end and agreed to consider
mediation. I then further explained my mediation process to Ahmed, how
it worked and coordinated their first mediation session.
Joyti and Ahmed had a few difficult and tearful conversations during our
mediation sessions but eventually, with my help, they were able to agree
on child support, custody, visitation, and division of property. Ahmed
also took advantage of a consultation with one of the psychologists on
my divorce team to address his deep anger issues.
Their mediation has concluded now and they have embraced their lives separately.
Ahmed has continued working with the psychologist and is getting a handle
on his anger issues. Ahmed and Joyti are also working better together
to make important decisions for their daughter.
If this sounds like you, please know that discussion, compassion, negotiation,
and solid legal guidance can solve your divorce problems. The comprehensive
focus of my psychologically-based divorce mediation process can really help.
If you would like to share your story with me, call me. I will give you
common sense answers to all your divorce questions. I will help you, as
I did with Ahmed and his family, to find a silver lining, using my powerful
divorce mediation method.
All our
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are
still available virtually.
I look forward to hearing your story and helping you find the best possible solution.
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to schedule your Free Consultation.
212.734.1551