When considering divorce, clients are usually familiar with going to court
and fighting. But more and more clients are learning there are more peaceful options.
Many spouses just want to fight. They know of no other way. They only see
“red” and nothing is going to change that. But for those open
to a non-adversarial option there is a more positive and peaceful solution—it’s
Once a couple decides to divorce, understandably they feel overwhelmed
by emotion but you want to amicably separate from your partner.
Divorce is hard. There’s no denying it. But there is a light at the
end of this tunnel—divorce doesn’t have to be nasty, angry,
Not only can your divorce be peaceful, it can be fair and successful!
The mediation path to divorce involves working with an unbiased mediator,
usually a lawyer, whose function it is to assist a couple in a negotiation
process, to make decisions together at and arrive at an agreement that
is fair to both. For people who have never experienced it, mediation is
surprisingly and stunningly effective.
It is quick, inexpensive, and not adversarial. It is a three-part process,
consisting of the negotiations, the preparation of an agreement, and preparation
and the submission of the divorce documents to a judge for signature.
Here are my effective divorce mediation suggestions:
Consider Mediation Over Litigation
Stay out of court, if you can! Do you really want judges and courts deciding
Take control of your divorce. Don’t let your divorce control you.
Spend less money. Keep the family funds in your pockets. Why spend your
child’s college fund on battling attorneys?
Get your divorce in a timely manner, on your timetable not that of feuding
attorneys and unending rescheduled court conferences. You can mutually
agree on child and spousal support terms. You can comfortably negotiate
custody and visitation arrangements. You can amicably divide property.
You can save money, time and stress. So consider mediation.
Respect Your Spouse
Yes, there are lots of reasons you no longer want to be with your spouse,
but remember you once loved them too! No need to wish them bad. Why not
embrace what now is, consider their needs, understand their view point,
and work together to dissolve the marriage with dignity.
Try not to blame one another, don’t trigger each other with nasty
texts, endless emails, don’t point fingers, bad mouth each other
or act up in mediation sessions. Stay calm during negotiations, forget
about punishment or revenge. Be a good listener, and consider all options,
not just those favorable to you!
Think About What’s Best for Your Children
Be a good example for your children. They really need you now! Show them
you cannot only survive as a family but thrive as a family!
By choosing a peaceful divorce process you can show your children how respect
and cooperation works. Let them feel supported and loved by you both!
Benefit From a Successful Divorce Team
No two divorces are alike. Your case, in a mediation process will receive
specialized attention. As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and
mediator, I customize a couples divorce process, identifying their needs
and addressing issues unique to their case. Sometimes that requires the
assistance of financial advisors, therapists, and forensic accountants.
Focus on Your Own Divorce
Every divorce is different. Don’t compare yours to anyone else and
don’t be persuaded by others and how they think you should divorce.
Everyone will have an opinion. Don’t be distracted by other’s
divorce experiences or dramas.
Don’t let social media be a place to garner support, vent frustrations
or receive advice. Inviting other peoples’ perceptions or opinions
may not be a healthy decision for you or your mediation process.
Only you know your life and your marriage. We are not just looking for
a win in mediation; we are looking for a collaborative win so you and
your family can move forward together.
If you are thinking of divorcing and would like to discuss my unique divorce
mediation process, call me. We can discuss the details of your marriage
and if mediation is right for you!
Don’t hesitate to reach out. My consultations, which are free, are
informative and comprehensive.
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are
still available virtually.
We still have some appointments available for this week.
I look forward to helping you.
When it comes to your future and that of your family, select the peaceful
path to divorce.
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois M. Brenner, Esq. to schedule your free
consultation today! 212.734.1551.