As a divorce attorney and mediator, I receive calls from couples of young
children asking various questions about custody and visitation all the time.
Often, these parents have little idea that “custody” to which
they’re referring is actually the right to make decisions. In fact,
many divorcing parents confuse visitation with custody and as such, it
puts the fabric of their relationships in a precarious situation.
To that end, I want to dispel a few myths that surround child custody and
visitation.
Custody
Is not defined as the primary residence of the children. Custody is the
right to make decisions, including: What school the children will attend,
the children’s primary care physician, the religion of the children,
and attendance at sleep away summer camp. Custody can be retained by one
or both parents.
Visitation
Signifies the time children spend with each of their parents—especially
when it is with the parent with whom the children spend less time.
There are many varieties of visitation arrangements. One parent can have
the children living with him full time while the other parent gets the
children for two weeknight dinners and weekends. There is an endless variety
of visitation patterns.
Factors in visitation can include: hours and location of parental employment,
location of children’s school in relation to one of the parents’
residence, and the reliability and maturity of the parent.
In determining child custody and visitation rights, the decision is supposed
to be in the best interest of the child. A knock-down, drag-out fight
should be avoided.
Solely using the courts to make these decisions is expensive financially
and emotionally. Lawyers can cost tens of thousands of dollars or more
and can often be adversarial, prolonging the time during which a custody
or visitation decision will be made.
Judges can make decisions about your future by relying on the advice of
doctors who assess a families’ dynamics and mental health. But how
well can these doctors get a true understanding of a family after only
a few hours of evaluation?
Mediators are often much better equipped to help divorced parents make
custody and visitation decisions.
As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I use psychology
and legal skills to help parents come to agreements that are in the best
interests of everyone—without spending tens of thousands of dollars.
As a mediator, I can also help divorcing parents make decisions without
all of the hurtful emotion behind it.
I very often encourage my clients to consider mediation to work out their
custody and visitation issues. It’s a better vehicle for all involved.
There is no reason to add any more pain to the division of a family.

Need help with custody and visitation? Call me. Mediation may just be the
answer to your problems.
Working with me your parenting process will be positive, productive &
more peaceful!
I am offering Free 1 hour consultations. Why not join me to learn more…
All our
FREE I HOUR CONSULTATIONS are
still available virtually to reduce risk.
I look forward to answering all your custody and visitation questions and
sharing all the impressive benefits of mediation with you!
My unique mediation process can save you money, time and unnecessary pain!
Stay healthy & safe!
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to ask all your custody and
visitation questions now!
212.734.1551