I often tell my clients going through a divorce, the only predictability
in life is change. We all dread and reluctantly develop coping mechanisms
for managing the inevitable change that is part of being human.
In order to make good use of the curve balls life throws at us, it’s
best if we can do more than just cope. We have to embrace changes, prepare
for them when we can, and face them head on when we get hit from behind.
A new beginning can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Conquering
and choosing change can be empowering!
A new beginning for some of us might be starting a new business, getting
married for the first time, having a child, or buying a first home.
For others change might be fixing a bad habit, leaving a miserable marriage
after many years, or deciding to end an unhealthy codependent relationship.
While new beginnings can be exhilarating, they can also force us to learn
new skills and stretch outside of our comfort zone.
When considering divorce and totally changing your life, you need to know
divorce doesn’t have to be all out warfare. You can divorce with
dignity using my unique divorce mediation teamwork process.
As is the case with some of my divorce clients, change can be beyond your
control. Change that is not within your control really requires strength
and resilience. This type of change is often harder to handle emotionally
because you are not in charge. Someone, or something else has created
change in your life. This might happen due to a divorce, disaster, illness
or death. This kind of change stirs up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings.
I’ve been hearing from many spouses who have been sad and struggling
over the last 2 years who are tired of being in unhappy, broken marriages.
They want change, and after living through this pandemic, they have decided
life is too short to stay in a miserable marriage.
A client recently said to me, “I’m still vibrant, healthy and
alive, I have a lot of life left and I don’t deserve to be cheated
on!” I’m out!! However, once she made this decision, the next
part was a challenge. She asked me, as many spouses do these days, during
our free one hour consultation, “How do I tell him this marriage
is over?” I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to hurt
my children, I just want an amicable divorce.
Due to my psychological training, and over 35 years’ experience as
a divorce attorney and mediator, I offer emotionally tempered suggestions
to spouses on how to handle this difficult conversation.
Sometimes, I am actually part of that process, especially when my effective
divorce mediation method is being used.
Big life transitions like divorce are powerful times in our lives. We are
invited to release what is outgrown in our lives and allow space for new
life to flow in. I know it’s hard to imagine a new chapter of your
life is starting in the midst of such pain and confusion. But every ending
is a new beginning.
Change is an invitation to recreate our lives, and ourselves. It is often
a time to flourish in ways you might never have considered. Change can
be a wonderful unexpected opportunity. My advice, “reach out and
If you want to make a change in your life, and you are thinking of divorce,
and you want a divorce with dignity, take this first step. Remember, starting
over requires confidence, courage and determination.
If you need help with making this change, call me. I can also coach you
on how to productively approach your spouse with the difficult conversation
about divorce. It can be a lot easier than you think. I will be happy
to share with you some of my truly successful techniques.
All our highly informative 1 Hour Consultations are FREE!
All consultations are
discreetly and conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk!
I look forward to speaking with you!
Stay healthy and safe!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to learn how your divorce
can be dignified, less painful, and less expensive using the powerful
process of mediation!
Schedule your free consultation today! 212.734.1551