As a divorce attorney, and psychologically-trained mediator, I hear all kinds of diverse divorce stories. I have decided to share some of these stories monthly with you.
Naturally, I will change the names and some of the details to protect the identity of my clients. The purpose of sharing these divorce stories with you is to let you know, you are not alone. There are peaceful, rational solutions available to you. You really can have a happily-ever-after.
Jamie and Gareth were married for 9 years. They had 6 year old twins. They were both professionals. He was an audiologist, she a well known blogger. They lived in a large multimillion dollar homes in Short Hills, New Jersey.
When I received a phone call from Gareth, he was angry and confused. He left a voice message saying he was shocked that his wife was putting her career ahead of her twins and their family. He also said she was having an affair with her ex she had reconnected with on LinkedIn, and he could see no alternative but to divorce.
During our phone consultation later that day, he told me that their marriage had been suffering for a long time. The limelight had gotten hold of his wife and she was never at home. She was constantly working and not paying any attention to him and their children. In addition, an old boyfriend had gotten in touch with her and she was spending a lot of time with him in the guise that they were working on a social media project together. She swore nothing was going on between them and he was helping to take her blogging empire to the next level.
Gareth was heartbroken and angry. He told me that this marriage was over and felt divorce was the only solution.
I suggested I have a phone call with his wife to see if this marriage could be saved in any way. We reached out to his wife by email and she agreed to speak with me. When I spoke with her, it became clear to me she wanted out of the marriage as much as Gareth did. Jamie felt Gareth was controlling and didn’t care to understand her career was really important to her.
He constantly ridiculed her success and she felt he was jealous. We discussed mediation and she agreed this process would be an acceptable route for them to take since going to court would not be a good option.
Gareth also agreed that mediation was the best path and we soon after started our mediation sessions. Unfortunately Gareth did not make these sessions easy. He kept accusing Jamie of cheating with her ex boyfriend and rehashing all kinds of issues from the past. I had to redirect his anger and insist rehashing the past was not productive in this process. I did see signs of his controlling behavior that Jamie had shared with me. I suggested he work with a therapist from my team to get a handle on his anger.
Jamie did admit she needed better time management while working on her career, so moving forward she could spent more quality time with the twins. I introduced her to a coach from my team of experts who has great time management systems to help her.
Jamie and Gareth had a few difficult and spirited conversations during our mediation sessions but eventually, with my help, they were able to agree on joint custody, liberal visitation and a fair division of property. Gareth did agree the family could stay in the marital residence in Short Hills, New Jersey.
Their mediation has concluded now, and they have embraced their lives separately. Jamie is working on better balancing work and time with her children. She has not gotten involved romantically with her ex but he has helped her further her blogging career. Gareth had continued therapy and gotten some control over his anger issues. He is actually opening his own audiology practice.
If this sounds like you, please know that discussion, compassion, negotiation, and solid legal guidance can solve your divorce problems. The comprehensive focus of my psychologically-based divorce mediation process can really help.
If you would like to share your story with me, call me. I will give you common sense answers to all your divorce questions. I will help you, as I did with Gareth and his family, to find a silver lining, using my powerful divorce mediation method.
All our FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.
I look forward to hearing your story, and helping you find the best possible solution.
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to schedule your Free Consultation.
212.734.1551