When you are a divorce attorney, inevitably holiday time for clients and
their families is turbulent and for some, very chaotic and unhappy.
Who do the children trick or treat with? Where do the children spend Thanksgiving?
Who gets Hanukkah? What about Christmas? New Years?
It’s exhausting. As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and
mediator, I get lots of calls during the holiday season asking for help.
Even though your divorce is causing you pain and you are having a difficult
time, you must remember to put your children first, especially during
the holidays. Having a plan or some type of road map will help.
Although you may not feel like celebrating, the holiday season says otherwise.
Having said that, you deserve to enjoy the holidays as well and I can
guide you through this process.!
For a happier and psychologically healthier holiday season while thinking
of divorce or divorcing, I suggest the following:
1.
Consider including your spouse, and also alternate the major holidays.
Notice I said “consider.” I know it’s hard. But sometimes
it can work to help the children adjust.
Suggest the children spend a portion of the holiday with both of you. Maybe
an hour or two all together and then the children can spend the balance
of the holiday with the other parent. Encourage your child to have a good
time with the other parent. (even if deep down, you don’t feel that way!)
2.
Communicate and
plan in advance.
If you provide some suggestions, structure and details for how to spend
the holidays, it will be less stressful. Hear what your spouse has to
say, give your thoughts, and come to a conclusion that suits all, especially
the children.
3.
Include other family members.
Don’t forget to include Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Joe. Planning
for extended family to proactively participate helps the children to adjust
and to feel more secure.
4.
Please don’t compete.
Try to agree on what gifts each parent is giving the child. Time spent
with your child is far more valuable than any gift you could give them.
If gifts are involved, communicate and decide together what gift will
make your child happy. A gift from both of you will send a comforting
and powerful message.
5.
Have a good time and create new traditions.
Try to see divorce as a positive change in your family dynamic and as an
opportunity to introduce your children to new family traditions. Each
parent should introduce some new holiday traditions into the mix. It will
ease the stress and divert attention to something positive and constructive
about the new family structure.
As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I have helped
thousands of families successfully navigate the holidays.
If you need some help with a parenting agreement or holiday visitation
schedule, call me!
My unique combination of legal and psychological training is very effective
when it comes to helping families find their way to communicate better
for the benefit of their children.
Don’t hesitate to get the help you need. Pick up the phone and call me.
All our
FREE CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.
I look forward to helping you and your family this holiday season!
Warm regards,
Lois
Let New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner help you and your family through
the holidays!
Please call to schedule your FREE consultation now.
We can book a consultation for you immediately!
Call 212.734.1551