When we think of spousal abuse we often hear the wife is being abused,
but men get abused too!
I have worked with a few men in the last year who all found themselves
in very emotionally abusive relationships with their wives. The abuse
then heightened during the pandemic, and they just couldn’t take
it any more.
For a man, recognizing he is being abused is often difficult and emotionally
distressing. In some cases, the mend didn’t realize they were being
abused. For a man there can be shame and embarrassment attached to knowing
he is being abused by his wife.
As a psychologically-trained medical professional and divorce attorney,
I am uniquely qualified to work with men in abusive relationships.
First, I provide a safe and supportive environment for them to express
their feelings, and give them a platform to be heard, respected and understood.
In addition, for those that might not recognize they are in an abusive
relationship, I can help them realize they are being abused, and provide
support and suggestions on how to productively and safely engage with
their spouse or not.
By the time a man consults with me he is already considering separation,
possibly divorce, but often feels really conflicted.
For those who want to invite their wives to participate in a dialogue to
discuss the marital issues, we strategize a consultation so I can help
them as a couple navigate a civil and informed discussion.
My psychologically-infused divorce mediation method includes:
- Listening to both parties;
- Acknowledging what they both need and want;
- Encouraging them to speak to each other in productive ways;
- Discouraging talking about the past; Identifying the abusive behavior and
addressing the “elephant in the room” with both;
- Providing a safe and supportive environment for productive discussions
- Helping them address and make decisions together on all the important legal
issues like: child custody, spousal support, visitation, asset allocation
and property division, just to name a few; suggest they speak with a psychologist
on my team.
Guiding them towards the best solutions for their marital problems, whether
it be therapy for possible treatment or reconciliation, mediation to dissolve
the marriage in a peaceful manner, or in some cases litigation because
the abuse and or mental issues runs too deep and communication is impossible.
Some of you may be asking - “What does abuse look like?”
Here are a few clues:
- Constantly putting you down;
- Humiliating or embarrassing you in front of others;
- Refusing to communicate;
- Using sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice;
- Using children or money for control;
- Withdrawal of affection;
- Guilt trips;
- Making everything your fault;
- Isolating you from friends and family;
- Extramarital affairs.
As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I can help
you identify if you are in an abusive relationship, and I will help you
successfully navigate a productive and peaceful path to divorce.
Unlike other divorce attorneys, I have psychiatric training that will empower
your path to divorce using the psychological tools necessary to communicate
and effectively negotiate with your abuser.
All our FREE ONE HOUR Consultations are informative and you will learn
a lot more about my unique divorce process and how I can help you!
I look forward to working with you!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to schedule your free consultation.