Divorcing a narcissist can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally
draining process. Narcissists often exhibit manipulative behaviors, an
inflated sense of self-importance, and a lack of empathy, making the divorce
proceedings combative and more complex.
As a seasoned, medically trained divorce attorney and mediator with a special
expertise in narcissism, I have developed a list to guide you on how to
carefully and successfully divorce a narcissist.
1. Understanding Narcissism
Before delving into the strategies, it's crucial to understand the
traits and behaviors associated with narcissism. Narcissists tend to have
an excessive need for admiration, lack empathy, exploit others for personal
gain, and have a fragile self-esteem. Recognizing these traits can help
you anticipate and prepare for their actions during the divorce proceedings.
2. Assemble a Support System
Divorcing a narcissist can be isolating and emotionally draining. Build
a strong support system consisting of friends, family, a therapist, and
a legal team experienced in dealing with high-conflict divorces. Having
a network that understands the dynamics involved will provide the emotional
and practical support you will need to get the best results.
3. Keep Good Records
Narcissists often engage in gaslighting and manipulation. Keep a detailed
record of all communication, including emails, text messages, and phone
calls. Document instances of verbal abuse, threats, or any attempts at
manipulation. This documentation will serve as evidence in court and protect
4. Choose the Right Legal Representation
Select an attorney/mediator experienced in dealing with high-conflict divorces
involving narcissistic personalities. Your attorney/mediator should be
knowledgeable about manipulative tactics and capable of staying focused
on your best interests despite attempts to distract or manipulate.
5. Set Boundaries
Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation. Establish clear boundaries
regarding communication, visitation, and co-parenting arrangements. If
possible, communicate through your attorney/mediator or a third party
to minimize direct contact and potential conflicts.
6. Focus on Mediation and Settlement
As a divorce attorney and mediator, I often suggest mediation as an approach
to divorcing a narcissist since litigation can escalate conflicts and
prolong the divorce process. Explore mediation and settlement options
where a neutral third party can help facilitate agreements. This approach
can help maintain a more amicable tone while avoiding unnecessary stress.
7. Protect Your Assets
Narcissists might attempt to hide assets or manipulate financial information
to gain an upper hand in the divorce settlement. Work with financial professionals
to thoroughly examine your marital finances and uncover any discrepancies.
8. Keep Your Children's Best Interests in Mind
Narcissistic parents may try to use children as pawns or attempt to alienate
them from you. Maintain open communication with your children and consider
involving a child psychologist if needed.
9. Stay Calm and Rational
Narcissists may provoke emotional reactions to fuel their sense of control.
Respond to their tactics with calm and rationality. Emotional outbursts
can be used against you, so maintaining composure is crucial.
10. Be Prepared for a Battle
Divorcing a narcissist is rarely straightforward. Be mentally prepared
for a challenging process. Expect the unexpected, and focus on your long-term
goals rather than getting caught up in short-term conflicts.
Divorcing a narcissist requires clever, careful planning, emotional resilience,
and a strong legal and psychological support network.
Remember, you don’t have to walk this divorce path alone, and with
the right divorce team and strategies in place, you can emerge from this
challenging experience stronger and more empowered.
A narcissistic spouse will be ready to do battle. You will need an attorney/mediator
skilled in handling a narcissist to gain your freedom and prevail in obtaining
a successful divorce.
If I can help you navigate a safe path out of this type of marriage, let me know.
I am familiar with the traits of a narcissist and uniquely trained as both
a medical professional and divorce attorney to help you successfully and
safely divorce the narcissist in your life.
Schedule your free consultation today! Let us help you prepare for a challenging
but successful divorce process. We will be there every step of the way
providing comprehensive legal and psychological support.
Being informed and fully prepared will put you in the driver’s seat.
Take charge of your life now. Call us today!
Divorcing a narcissist takes courage and an attorney skilled at combating
the toxic behaviors of a narcissist.
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to schedule your free consultation.